Board Certified Counselor
When I learned that divorce is one of the most anxiety provoking events that one could experience in a lifetime, I felt a huge sigh of relief.
It had all made sense to me now and it is only natural for me to empathize with someone that has been down that path.
It is common for one to experience an array of emotions before, during, and after a divorce. Sadness, anxiety, loneliness, and isolation are just a few of the emotions that one could experience.
The most daunting of it all seems to be the actual "change" of an entire life.
Divorce is not only dealing with the loss of someone that was once a life partner but the circumstances surrounding the entire event are often what lead people to feeling anxious. If one pondered all of the change that exists through a divorce then it would be easier to understand why it is a tremendous process to recover from.
In many cases there are different living arrangements which translates to taking a life that was once familiar and comfortable” and moving it to a place that is new, distant, and removed.
Divorce situations that involve children require a shift in normal routines to time that is now split and often times an awkward arrangement requiring a significant adjustment period.
Divorce is nothing short of complete disarray but there are ways to cope and typically things get better with time. Part of the healing process is rediscovering oneself.
Think about participating in a hobby or activity that is fun, interactive, and challenging and also something that provides an opportunity to meet new people. Developing a strong support system that is filled with loving, supportive, and encouraging people is imperative in feeling"whole" again. It is within human interaction that the ability to re-connect with others will start to heal the wounds.
Learning a new language, going back to school, dusting off that old guitar, taking a gourmet cooking class, or planning a trip to an exotic location are all things that you can do independently and will inevitably help facilitate your recovery.
Staying physically active can help alleviate depressive symptoms and most certainly release stress. Working with a therapist or joining a divorce recovery group are usually helpful resources so to not feel as alone in this process as well as an opportunity to sort out some of the emotions that are bound to develop.
There will be good days and bad days throughout the recovery process but ultimately it is up to you to put your best foot forward in the direction of a new life just waiting for you to embrace it. It is never too late to start over and find happiness all over again.
Lisa Brown, MA, LPC, NCC, is a practicing therapist who helps people overcome life transitions specifically related to loss. For more information, visit her website www.counseling-helps.org.