Question:
Dear Sirs: My Ex-wife and I have joint legal and joint physical with her as the primary. My days are every Tuesday pm through Friday pm of every single week. My work schedule allows me to spend that much time with my son. I am off Weds, Thursday, Friday; 4 on and 3 off in the aviation industry. This is stated in our divorce decree that get him on all these days specifically. It says that we make all decisions together but in the event that we don't agree the mother shall have the final decision making authority. We were divorced when my son was 1 and he is now currently 4. I had him exactly 172 days in the calendar year 2004 including overnights. So as you can see I spend a lot of time with him. We are in a disagreement on Pre-K. She wants to enroll him in the Georgia state funded Pre-K in her county which is an hour away. To stay enrolled in this he would have to attend 6.5 hours of Pre-K, 5 days a week. Of course, this causes a problem for us because of the commute everyday to and from his daycare. I feel like that much time in a daycare is way too much, and why would I do that when I am off and can stay with him on those days? I told her that I did not agree with that and on my days he would be with me instead of Pre-K, and we would be doing our Pre-K material from home. He attends daycare already on Mondays and Tuesdays on her days because she works Mon-Fri 8-5 with weekends off. If he attended this pre-k program and I went to an every other weekend father that would put him in pre-k/daycare at about 50-52 hrs a week because she cant pick him up till after 5 pm! What advice can you give me? I have tried to get her to let him go to a private pre-k in my county and I would pay that on top of my 17% child support. She said "no". I tried the home school angle on my days; she said "no" She is basically forcing me into every other weekend unless I just go get him from pre-k anyway on my days. Do you think the courts or a judge would look at the state funded pre-k as educational or daycare? I even have a clause in my decree that in the event that the child is placed in daycare then the other parent shall have the opportunity to get him first! I am the next best thing to a stay at home mom, and she knows that! I have all the time to get our son to and from school during the week, but she wont let him go in my county because she feels that she would giving up custody if he goes to school where I live. She is very work-orientated and would rather place him in this pre-k/daycare instead of giving him the time with his Daddy just because its in her district. The state funded pre-k is free so it is actually saving her money by putting him in this and then in turn she pockets more of my CS. That is what I feel is the real reason for wanting to enroll him in this program. In know what shape or form do I feel like this is in the best interest of our son. I am down to my last resort, and that would be sell my house and leave my family and move to her county. Something I am really not to keen on doing because there is no guarantee that she is going to stay there. My son loves seeing me, he expects to see me every week. He calls our house "home" and her house "his mommy's". I am at my wits end here guys. I am logging days and waiting for July 2006 when HB 221 goes into effect (Modification of Child Support Guidelines for Georgia). I feel if the money is no longer an issue then she wont want to bother with putting up with him. It is all about the money with her, and I feel like I cant do anything about it.
Answer:
I am not currently licensed in GA and cannot answer your question specifically to the laws of that State. Your problem is how legal custody is defined in your decree. Someone may have titled that provision "joint legal", but in reality if she is making the final decision that is really sole legal custody. Due to the legal custody situation in your decree and her making the final decision, she can place your son in that preschool. The judges in my jurisdiction consider preschool to be important and will allow her to make the placement in most situations. What I suggest is filing a modification for true joint legal custody that states the parents will "confer, consult and agree" upon decisions. It would be a difficult case at this time as you are already in a major disagreement about a fundamental legal custody issue...the education of your child. Even if this issue is resolved, the same problem would arise when your son begins kindergarten. Some resolution needs to me made before the start of real school.
