Dads Divorce - Free custody and alimony advice for men and fathers.
Providing essential divorce, alimony, custody and support information and resources to men at any stage of divorce.
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By Jennifer M. Paine
Attorney, Cordell & Cordell, P.C., Detroit office
Note: This is Part 3 of a three-part series. Click here to read Part 1 and click here to read Part 2.
Insiders and Property Division
Faced with a sizable loss if forced to divide an investment account, sell a vacation home or otherwise divide property acquired during the marriage, some spouses divert their assets to friends and family. They quip, “I don’t have to divide it if I don’t have it.” A blank stare, mouth open, face white, falls across them when their attorneys say the property still counts and, worse yet, they might have committed a crime.
By Jennifer M. Paine
Attorney, Cordell & Cordell, P.C., Detroit office
Note: This is Part 2 of a three-part series. Click here to read Part 1 and click here to read Part 3.
Demanding Relatives and Child Custody
If you feel like your life is a scene from Everybody Loves Raymond, you are not alone. When a family dissolves, strained emotions are inevitable. So too are crazy outbursts we would not usually make – such as the demand to your attorney to “spend whatever it takes” just to get back your tools or the “With Sympathy For Your Loss” funeral card your spiteful mother sends to your ex-wife as a dig when your divorce is final.
These things happen, and most divorce statutes are built to accommodate them. Custody statutes require the court to consider “the totality of the circumstances,” as opposed to an isolated night of yelling in front of your children. Child support and alimony are based on income and earning capacities, as opposed to who is the “smarter” or “crazier” spouse.
But beware overbearing relatives.
By Jennifer M. Paine
Attorney, Cordell & Cordell, P.C., Detroit office
Note: This is Part 1 of a three-part series. Click here to read Part 2 and click here to read Part 3.
“You have to pay her how much alimony? What about our ‘business trip’ to the Bahamas?”
“Billy, why don’t you bring the children over for a nice, long weekend with Grandma? Who cares if it’s Susan’s weekend? What is she, still your wife?”
“How can the court make you give that ring to her if you give it to me first?”
Sound familiar? If you are dealing with other women, be they girlfriends or second wives, grandmas or aunts, sisters or mothers, you have probably heard statements like these. These women are excellent at giving advice, helping you deal with your family dissolution, and comforting you when you are down.
But beware. They look and talk like angels, but they may be devils in disguise. Whether you are in the midst of a family dissolution or your family dissolved years ago, the other women in your life will affect your family harmony – and possibly your legal rights.
Question: My boyfriend and I are having trouble with his wife, she has a restraining order against him and custody of their 4 year old daughter. She refuses to let him see his daughter unless he stays with her. They had a terrible marriage and she has taken the child and left the state once before. He is afraid to file for custody or even divorce for fear that she will disappear again and never let him see his daughter again. Do you have any advice for us? Answer: It is unclear from the facts presented how long your boyfriend and his wife have been separated. If he is still married your presence in the situation is not going to help in a custody dispute and could be harmful. The terms "my boyfriend", "his wife" and "custody" are not a good combination of phrases to begin a conversation. If he is interested in custody he needs to establish a custody time. Her denial of any custody or visitation will be viewed negatively with the court. However, if he delays too long in seeking relief from the court it opens up the argument that he has acquiesced to the arrangement. He needs to file for divorce, seek a temporary order if NJ allows such relief and begin seeing his daughter. If the mother then fails to follow a court ordered custody plan her actions should be used against her in court. Should the mother flee the State it would make it much easier for your boyfriend to get a full custody order and perhaps even only supervised visitation with mother. He needs to look at the long term, not at the short term problems. Finally, he needs to keep a custody journal or calendar recording his attempts to contact his child and any visitations that he does receive.
Question: Can my wife take my minor child and move out of state if we are seperating without my consent if I don't have a court order for custody? I am also in the military. Can this help me in any way? She is trying to move to Missouri to stay with her parents. What steps should I take to prevent this? Answer: I cannot answer your question specifically to the laws of Maryland as I am not licensed in that State. Generally you need to file for a temporary order inside the dissolution action if there is time or if the move is imminent you should consider a Temporary Restraining Order.
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