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Question:

I am in active duty with the Navy, and retiring in November. The problem is that my daughter hates me because I haven't been able to see her regularly for the past 9 years.  This was mostly due to my health problems that have been steadily getting worse since 1999, but also because her mother is very controlling and has taken advantage of my health situation to keep my daughter away from me. There is no court paperwork on anything, and I really feel this current situation is not in the best interest of my daughter. I have been paying what the mother has requested, and I have just not been able to see my daughter as much as I would like.  It also doesn’t help that the mother would not let her come to me out of fear that I would keep her.

I have been very preoccupied while trying to heal from my wounds. Last night, I was talking to my little girl and her mother on the phone when I heard my daughter say that I am not her dad. She was obviously upset very upset and she's only 11.  I just want what is right for my little girl. I know my fate is probably sealed because I have not actively sought to get our separation/divorce in proper order, but I have been dealing with this stuff for a long time.  Somehow, officially divorcing seems like it would not be a step to bring my daughter closer, but I'm beginning to think that it will. Where do I start?

DadsDivorce LIVE host and family law attorney, Dan Cuneo, speaks with Mr. Dad, Armin Brott, author of The Military Father: A Hands-On Guide for Deployed Dads.