The decision to end a marriage is one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever have to make. It will change your life, your spouse’s life, and your family’s life. 

That decision is usually followed up with the inevitable question: Should I be the first one to file?

Kristin Zurek, an attorney with national family law firm Cordell & Cordell, P.C., said she is asked that question by every potential client she meets with.

“I usually respond to this question with a pro and con list for clients to consider,” Zurek said. 

Continue reading for Zurek’s pro-con list to being the first to end the marriage. 

Question:

My spouse is spending her money aggressively to eliminate any cash that she may have to split in our divorce. What can I do to mitigate my obligation to pay half of her debt?

She has served me with a Notice of Dissolution of Marriage, but nothing has been filed yet. I believe she is doing this as a calculated move on her part, re-enforced by her attorney.

Question:

I have recently separated from my wife. She is staying at the family home for now, and we have basically agreed on child support, and the distribution of certain belongings.

What would be your advice on how I should proceed with this situation legally in order to better protect myself. There is nothing in writing up to now, and no attorneys are involved. I want as much time with the kids as possible and don't want to be overburdened with maintenance.  What are the benefits/dangers of filing for divorce and taking the initiative to move this along?