I will start my question with a little background. My husband's ex-wife is the custodial parent of their three children ages 14(boy), 12(girl), and 6(girl). We see them every other weekend from Friday nights to Sunday late afternoons and on Tuesdays from 6-8. His salary grosses $4000 a month. His ex-wife runs a day care out of her home (this scares me!) and does not report her income claiming only $400 a month. He pays $1100 a month in child support and pays for their medical insurance. He also buys the majority of their clothes and shoes. All of this was stated in the divorce decree, so I am not questioning whether or not he should be doing what he is doing. I will mention though that the decree was written and agreed upon when he held a much higher income level. What has prompted this question is the result of the 6 year olds emergency denists appointment. His ex-wife called at 8 o'clock on Monday night (today is Thursday) saying that the 6 year olds tooth was bleeding. The 6 year old has had repeated visits to the dentist (all brought to the appointment and paid for by my husband) due to some fairly major dental issues for a 6 year old. My husband is required to take her to these appointments because she is busy with the "day care kids." (My comment to this is, so someone elses kids are more important than your own. If you can't properly take care of and provide for your children with your current job, then you need to get a new one!) These issues we have been told by the dentist are partly due to lack of care and improper eating habits. Well at the appointment this morning he was told that she has an infection and that it has almost spread to the bone. He is familiar with her case due to frequent visits so he proceeds to explain that if care and medicine isn't taken immediately hospitalization will be required! To help fill in a couple of blanks, we often are asked to buy the 12 year old girl deoderants, toothbrushes, and feminine products because she doesn't have any at home. So I my approximation, the lack of care given to the children runs deep. At what point does this turn in to neglect, or am I just overreacting? Do you have any other advice for the situation? We are in the process of getting the child support ammount reevaluated due to the drastic change in income. We both feel that if we can get the money out of her hands, at least we can make sure that the kids get what they need. At this point, because of what he already sends her way, there is not much left to do the things that she or the kids are requiring/needing. After all is said and done, I would just like to see the children taken care of and the ex-wife held accountable. Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.

I am the non-custodial parent of three daughters, ages 10, 12, and 13. They are consistently filthy in body and clothing, very foul-smelling, and their clothing is also ill-fitting and very shabby. Their mother is an RN in management and earns over 60K, plus, I pay her support which amounts to 1/3 of my net, and I gave her $100,000 of the equity in our joint house when it sold 2 years ago (if any of this matters). My daughters' poor hygiene is appalling and has dramatically impacted their lives. They are with me every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer, so it's hard for me to have much influence over them. Am I powerless? By the time I give her support PLUS buy them appropriate clothing (which disappears into her filthy house) there is no money left for a high-dollar attorney.