It is unclear from the facts presented how long your boyfriend and his wife have been separated. If he is still married your presence in the situation is not going to help in a custody dispute and could be harmful. The terms "my boyfriend", "his wife" and "custody" are not a good combination of phrases to begin a conversation. If he is interested in custody he needs to establish a custody time. Her denial of any custody or visitation will be viewed negatively with the court. However, if he delays too long in seeking relief from the court it opens up the argument that he has acquiesced to the arrangement. He needs to file for divorce, seek a temporary order if NJ allows such relief and begin seeing his daughter. If the mother then fails to follow a court ordered custody plan her actions should be used against her in court. Should the mother flee the State it would make it much easier for your boyfriend to get a full custody order and perhaps even only supervised visitation with mother. He needs to look at the long term, not at the short term problems. Finally, he needs to keep a custody journal or calendar recording his attempts to contact his child and any visitations that he does receive.

First, I must inform you that I am not licensed to practice law in New Jersey. You should contact a lawyer in New Jersey to determine the specific requirements for custody in your state. No matter what state your in there are going to be many factors the court use to determine joint custody. I think that it is fair to say that it is importatnt to live in close proximity to your estranged wife in order for joint custody to be practical. Right now your children are young and school is not a factor but in the near future it will be. You will both need to live in or near to the same school district. More important than your physcial location will be what is in the best interest of the children. If you can show the court that it is best for your children to spend equal time with both parents then you have a good chance of receiving joint custody. The court will also look at how the parents have shared care responsibilities in the past. If you and your wife have both been equally involved in the day to day care of the children then your odds of receiving joint custody increase. Obviously, there is no way for me to predict the outcome of your case. There are so many factors to consider. I can almost guarantee you will not receive joint custody unless you ask for it. Since I am not familiar with the court system in New Jersey, I do not know whether custody is determined by the Family or Divorce Court. Again, I strongly recommend that you contact an attorney in New Jersey.

If your divorce was in Texas, then you must modify support in Texas. I am not licensed in Texas so you should also consult an attorney who is. In order to modify support you must be able to show a substantial change in circumstance. In your case this would be your current unemployment. You must file a petition or request with the court to modify support. I would also investigate how she obtained a court order of support while you were deployed in the military. Most states have laws that protect active duty military from legal action while deployed. Again consult an attorney in Texas to determine exactly what your options are.