Does filing first mean temporary custody?

Question: I'm going to divorce my wife and live in the state of Missouri. I plan on doing this in July, which will make it 2 years of marriage. My question is, what steps do I need to take in preparing to have the best chance of joint custody of our 6 year old daughter? Mind you I own my own business in which I took her to work with me everyday for the first 5 years of her life. However, when things looked to be falling apart before we actually married, my now wife wasn't going to allow me 50/50 time with my daughter. If I file first, don't I automatically have physical custody of her for 6 months?

Answer: Each custody case is unique and therefore it is difficult giving specific advise on your issue. Generally, what you want to do is maximize your involvement in your child's life. Take all time and responsibility that you can, but also do not deny the other parent their right to access to the child. A difficult balance. The court will look at what you and your wife have done during the marriage. This means, who has taken the child to the doctor, school, attended PTA meetings, Parent-teacher conferences, been involved in extracurricular activities, cook meals, helped with homework etc. The court will also look at the activities and behavior of the parents after separation. This includes the issues above, but also the co-parenting issues come more into play. Which parent is more likely to provide and foster a relationship with the other parent. Finally, the court can look to the future. Perhaps one parent has been a stay at home parent, but that may need to change after the divorce or one parent is in a relationship that does not allow significant time for the child. Obviously this discussion assumes that the parents are good and capable parents. If one parent has a drug/alcohol problem, is abusive toward the other parent or child or is physically/mentally incapable of caring for the child that would be an overriding issue. Finally, there is not an automatic right to custody for six (or any time period) months if you file first. The "race to the courthouse" rule was amended many years ago.

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