How specific should visitation be spelled out in the decree?

Question: My ex wife seems to love having custody of our four year old daughter, not to have the child, but to receive a very large weekly child support check. My ex wife wants me to take our child for visitation all the time and want to pinpoint my visitations (which is very often) in our divorce agreement. Does visitation have to be pinpointed down to the exact days that I need to take our daughter? This makes it very difficult for me and I want to be able to remain flexible.

Answer: Generally most custody orders orders say something like "custody as the parties shall agree, and if they cannot agree then... " (here set forth exact schedule.) I am having a little trouble from your question understanding whether or not you are already divorced (since you call her your "ex wife") or are in the process of getting divorced (since your divorce agreement [aka settlement agreement] is obviously not yet complete). Let me give you a bit of advice: on balance, it would probably be a good idea to spell out a large amount of custody time in your settlement agreement even if this means less flexibility for you, as the more time that is specifically given you, the more time you are guaranteed with your daughter. If it's just "as the parties agree" and little time for you is spelled out, then you run the risk that she might not let you see your daughter as often as you like. Another point: if you are getting a significant amount of custody time, that is a reason in many states for the support amount to be reduced to account for all the time you have, time during which, obviously, she is not incurring many expenses for the child. Your lawyer might explore this with the judge and opposing counsel if there are any settlement conferences coming up in your case.

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