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Divorce Advice for Men | Fathers Rights Divorce | Child Custody

Providing men with essential divorce advice, fathers rights divorce information and child custody articles. Dads Divorce is a community for men facing divorce or fathers rights issues and run by Cordell and Cordell. Cordell & Cordell is a family law firm with a focus on men's divorce, child custody and fathers rights divorce.
Apr 07, 2005

Question:

I have been divorced for over two years. As of September of 2006 I filed for full custody of my 11 yr old son and 8 yr old daughter. I have always been active in the classrooms, PTA and extra-curricular activites. My ex is involved in none and continually makes poor decisions regarding the children. (ex. She bought a 2 bdrm townhome because it was a "good investment") This home cost the same as my 3 bdrm, 2 bth, 2 car garage home in a cul-de-sac with almost 1000 more sq ft. The children Always complain about inconsistancy in their lives not including medical issues that she does not properly address. Since I filed for custody, she has tried to become "Super Mom", tried to get involved in the kids lives, involved in school and she had her boyfriend move in to try to show "stability", of which I found out that he has been unemployed since January. My attorney keeps telling me we are in a very good position and I just found out that the Amicus has made positive feedback regarding meeting me and negative feedback regarding my ex to my attorney. My discovery was very lengthy and included hard documented facts of everything that I have issues with and my testamonial list includes several teachers and principals among others. My question is that my ex's attorney is set to give me a deposition and I am seeing that the people that will attend are my ex and her attorney, my attorney and the amicus. I have been told that I will be questioned by the opposing attorney, my attoney and the amicus. I am nervous because everything I have been told about this is that it is about the attorneys strategizing questions to trip me up, make me nervous, confuse me, bleed more info from me, demorilize me and to find weak spots like angering me. I am told this deposition is a good sign and shows that they are grasping for straws. I am however very nervous and have concerns as to me, this is my life and to these attorney's I am being told that this is the fun part for them to be able to make or break a case in a game of wit. I have been told to keep my answers to 5 words or less. Don't show any emotion. Be sure to show confidence with every answer and to ensure that questions asked in multiple forms are answered the same exact way. I have been through military review boards, of which I excelled, but I am having difficulty dettaching the emotional portion, that I believe is required in order to get through this. I have a week and a half to prepare and I wanted to know if there was any other helpful advice for this deposition. And/or if there are any support web sites specifically for this situation. I appreciate my attorney but feel that I should also be looking for other advise as well from different perspectives. Thank you.

Answer:

First let me say I am not licensed in Texas. However, depositions are discovery tools that are frequently used. It sounds like your attorney has prepared you. The most important thing to do in a deposition is tell the truth. Keep in mind that it is under oath and can be used at trial. Also remember it is not a trial. You attorney is right that you want your answers to be consistent. It will be more important for your testimony at trial to be consistent with your deposition. If you tell the truth this should not be a problem. Depositions can also be helpful to you. You will have a better idea of what the other side's strategy is. You can go to the dadsdivorce.com forum and tell the members what you are getting ready for and they will be able to help you. Sign up for the forum and make sure to check your spam folder if you do not receive your confirmation within a few hours. This forum was built for men facing divorce.

Apr 07, 2005

Question:

When I divorced back in September 2005 the lawyer that I had wasn't much help. While separated, I paid health insurance, half of daycare, and housing for a month for my ex and child. The attorney I had didn't add this money in and now I have back child support. I don't mind paying child support but I do mind paying back child support. The lawyer that I had kept telling me that a number of father's don

Mar 22, 2005
The nation is in revolt over marriage. Some 17 states have now passed amendments to protect the definition of marriage, and more will follow. The issue is plausibly credited with creating President Bush's margin of victory in the 2004 election and that of some congressional candidates. 
Same-sex marriage has also shaken the decades-long loyalty of African-Americans to the Democratic Party. Only a short time ago, few would have predicted such a public uprising in defense of marriage and the family. And this may be only the beginning. Bill Cosby's celebrated remarks last year on family morality -- and the largely positive response -- has placed a once-taboo subject at the top of the African American agenda.


Mar 02, 2005
Most of the reservists called up to serve in the Iraq war have paid a big price: a significant reduction of their wages as they transferred from civilian to military jobs, separation from their loved ones, and of course the risk of battle wounds or death. Regrettably, on their return home, those who are divorced fathers could face another grievous penalty: loss of their children, financial ruin, prosecution as "deadbeat dads," and even jail. Reservists' child-support orders were based on their civilian wages, and when they are called up to active duty, that burden doesn't decrease. Few can get court modification before they leave, modifications are seldom granted anyway, and even if a father applied for modification before deployment the debt continues to grow until the case is decided much later.
Jan 12, 2005
One impressive vote last November second has been overlooked by the media. By 85 to 15 percent, a ballot initiative in Massachusetts approved equal legal and physical custody of children whose parents are divorced. That ballot initiative is nonbinding, but it certainly is indicative of the will of the people and the growing recognition that children are best off under the care of both parents. The initiative came out of the grassroots with a massive signature-gathering effort during the summer. The proposition appeared on the ballot as follows: "Shall the State Representative from this district be instructed to vote in favor of legislation requiring that in all separation and divorce proceedings involving minor children, the courts shall uphold the fundamental rights of both parents to the shared physical and legal custody of their children and the children's right to maximize their time with each parent, so far as is practical, unless one parent is found unfit or the parents agree otherwise, subject to the requirements of existing child support and abuse prevention laws?" This initiative was sponsored by a fathers' rights group whose members believe that fathers are systematically discriminated against by family courts which nearly always award physical custody to the mother even when the father has committed no fault. Family courts typically deny faultless fathers their equal parental rights even when state law appears to require equal custody. California Family Law, for example, states (Sec. 3010(a)): "The mother . . . and the father . . . are equally entitled to the custody of the child." The only specific examples the statute gives for denying custody to a parent are child abuse, false accusations of child abuse, abuse of someone else with whom the person has a domestic relationship, substance abuse, and conviction of certain felonies. State laws about custody rights vary, and only about a dozen states specify a legal presumption in favor of equal custody. Iowa's new law says that if a court denies a request for joint physical custody, the judge must explain why it's not in the best interest of the child. Whether or not a state law mandates equal rights to both parents, family courts appear instead to rely on a concept called "the best interest of the child." Since that notion is wholly subjective, an undefinable rule with no standards or accountability, in practice it rests on the personal whim or bias of the family court. Family court judges find unwelcome the task of rendering a judicial decision detached from the law and from any due-process finding of fault, so they call on a court-appointed psychologist to provide his opinion of who should have custody. But the issue before the court is not psychological (except in rare cases of mental illness), and the psychologist's credentials no more qualify him to determine what is "the best interest of the child" than the judge -- or the father or mother. The social ills that are caused by the lack of a father role-model and discipline-dispenser in the home have been voluminously reported. We've been led to believe that the plight of fatherless children is caused by husbands walking out on their wives, fathers abandoning their children, and deadbeat dads. That may be a primary cause in the matriarchal welfare system, but no evidence supports a claim that large numbers of non-welfare fathers are voluntarily abandoning their children. Thousands, perhaps millions, of middle-class children are growing up fatherless because the family courts have deprived them of their fathers. One of the best-kept secrets in American society today is that two-thirds of divorces are now sought by wives, not husbands. The feminist movement has taught wives that they can seek "liberation" by walking out on the marriage contract and marital duties and still reap the benefits of marriage, i.e., their children and his money. Some 80 percent of divorces are involuntary, over the objections of one spouse. Very few of these divorces involve grounds such as desertion, adultery, or abuse. We urgently need a comprehensive study of how many family court decisions deprive fathers of their parental rights, and deprive children of their fathers, when that awesome punishment is not based on any finding of fault. Information is difficult to gather because most of what family courts do is not available to public scrutiny. How many children are separated by judicial fiat from involuntarily divorced fathers who have done nothing wrong? How many children are separated from their fathers because of questionable child abuse accusations without any evidentiary hearing or due process of law? Fathers are starting to fight back. During 2004, federal class action suits were filed against 46 states on behalf of an estimated 25 million non-custodial parents, primarily fathers, claiming violation of their right to equal custody of their children. The gay-rights lobby has a national strategy based on federal "equal protection" to get their day in court to demand marriage licenses. What we really need are laws ensuring that children of broken homes have equal access to their fathers and mothers.
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