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Divorce Advice for Men | Fathers' Rights Divorce | Child Custody

Providing men with essential divorce advice, fathers' rights divorce information and child custody articles. Dads Divorce is a community for men facing divorce or fathers' rights issues and run by Cordell and Cordell. Cordell & Cordell is a family law firm with a focus on men's divorce, child custody and fathers' rights divorce.
Oct 05, 2005

Question:

I have filed for divorce in MO in December and am asking for custody of my children since that

Oct 05, 2005

Question:

If there are no serious issues between divorced parents, can a child just decide that they want to live with their noncustodial parent, even if the parent who has custody does not want it ? If so, what is the age ?(In Texas) Thank you, Gina

Answer:

I cannot answer your questions specifically to the laws of Texas as I am not licensed in that State. It is possible that there is a specific statute in your State that provides for an age for a child to determine or provide impute into the custody decision. Generally, a child can testify when they are of sufficient maturity to understand and take the oath to testify truthfully. However, the child's wishes are only one factor in my jurisdiction that the judge uses to determine the best interest of the child and the custody arrangements. Usually by 12 years old a child can testify, but the court will not give much weight to his choice. As the child gets older his wishes carry more weight. By fifteen or sixteen if the child is of general maturity and has logical reasons for changing the custody the court will often abide by the child's wishes.

Oct 05, 2005

Question:

My wife and I are in the process of a divorce. We have signed divorce, agreement and child custody papers and awaiting the final date. Wife is a pathological liar and cheated and is still dating a guy. The lies have now caused me to question the boyfriend's ability to be allowed around my 6-year-old daughter. Wife claimed he attempted to rape her one night, that he threatened to commit suicide (was going thru his own divorce) and the times he called the house and I spoke to him he was drunk. My wife's allegation of attempted rape was told to me and a mutual friend. She now claims it was a lie and that he no longer drinks and the suicide threat was a cry for help. I have asked during our separation that he be kept away from our daughter on the nights wife has her. Until recently this was met. Wife also is on anti-depressants and is prone to emotional outbursts. Is it possible to obtain a restraining order protecting my daughter from boyfriend based on the items I described? In our agreement I have kept custody of house as family residence, no alimony and agreed to daughter's education, medical etc. These items are also being kept in mind in regards to restraining order until divorce is final. Please help a confused, caring dad.

Answer:

I cannot answer your question specifically to the laws and statutes of Texas as I am not licensed in that State. Generally a restraining order is appropriate for a child only when the child is threatened. In the description, your Wife would have grounds for a retraining order, but many judges would not enter one on behalf of the child as she was not threatned, abused or neglected. I would suggest that you consider filing for a temporary order inside the divorce that sets forth restrictions on the boyfriend's contact with the child. The result would be the same as a retraining order, but would likely take more time to obtain. You could consider requesting the appointment of a Guardian Ad Litem to protect the interest of your child.

Oct 03, 2005
There is no magic solution to getting issues surrounding child support resolved. Most parents know that when dealing with the bureaucracy tied to the child support system persistence, persistence, persistence is the key that opens the door. You cannot count on case workers or case managers to do what is your responsibility. They are overworked, underpaid, wrapped in a sea of paperwork, antiquated computer programs, and red tape that barely allows them to move from point "A" to point "B". So what's a parent to do? Keep your own records. When it comes to dealing with courts and child support, it's all a matter of record. Document, document, document everything. If you speak to a worker, your attorneys, the non-custodial parent, document it. A blunt piece of advice for those who are contemplating a separation or divorce; even if you think your relationship appears to be on rocky ground and children are involved; start collecting information. This is advice for both men and women. Don't fool yourself gentlemen; you too can become a custodial parent seeking child support from your partner. It may not be the norm, but it is a reality. Don't sneak around, and don't feel as though you are going behind someone's back. You have to do what is in the best interest of your children and yourself. Begin collecting bank account numbers, list of licenses, locations of stock/bond papers, money markets and past work/address history. Gather as much as you can. Keep impeccable records. Write the names, addresses, phone and fax numbers to everyone you talk to concerning your child support case. Keep a photo of the parent in question. Remember, it is all a matter of record. You must hold people accountable and this is one way to do it. Don't ever be afraid to ask a judge or referee, attorney or the child support worker of your case who they report to at the end of the day. This will send a clear message that they will be held accountable for every word that comes out of their mouth so it better be in your best interest. Parents who were married at the time of conception may not have an issue filing for a child support order and often times your divorce attorney will cover this matter in your initial interview. However if the parents are not married, establishing paternity is essential if you expect to receive child support. Paternity means fatherhood. Establishing paternity provides the child with a legal father. Child support equals survival. Break-ups are never easy for the parents or the children. It often means that the emotional and financial standard of living for all parties will suffer. Parents must understand that child support is paid for the well being of the child and the parent caring for that child. Money is a powerful tool in this society and can be used as a weapon when it comes to child support. The duty to pay child support and the right to visit are two different issues. They are not connected in the law. In the eyes of the court the child is entitled to contact with both parents. If non-support is an issue, begin documenting the visitation and during your next visit with the judge or referee mention the fact that support has stopped. If you don't have an upcoming court visit, write the judge or referee assigned to your case. You can also inform your child support worker if you have one assigned, but write the judge and request a hearing to address the matter immediately. There is power in the pen, or in the keyboard, depending on how you choose to communicate with the people associated with your child support case. Always, always leave a paper trail. If you send a letter, ask the postal worker to give you a confirmation, it will at least let you know when the letter has arrived. Calling child support workers or trying to get in touch with "Friend of the Court" staff is as impossible as wining the "mega millions lottery." Parents must continue to write or, drop off letters to their workers/judges, and get the name of the person you leave the letter with, along with a phone number, This is great advice for any situation, if you think someone is giving you a bogus phone number, use your cell phone or a pay phone and call the number before you leave the location. If the number is not valid go back, ask to speak to a supervisor and let them know; and take the information to court with you so it can become part of the court record. If you truly have a problem getting child support issues addressed, write your legislators and your governor, weekly if needed. The squeaky wheel gets the oil, and nothing ventured, nothing gained. DETRA D. DAVIS is a writer with more than 20 years experience in business-to-business, business-to-consumer copywriting. She creates instructional, operational and how to manuals for business and industry, currently working with J. Davis & Associates, Visit her website at http://www.supportingourchildren.com
www.supportingourchildren.com

Sep 19, 2005
by Phyllis Schlafly
 
Gallant Americans are risking life and limb in Iraq to defend Home and Country. But they never dreamed they might lose their children, too. When Army National Guard Spc. Joe McNeilly of Grand Ledge, Michigan came home after 15 months in Iraq, he found that a family court "referee" had taken away his joint custody of his 10-year-old son and given full custody and control to the boy's mother. For five years, McNeilly had had a 50-50 no-problem custody arrangement with his ex-girlfriend Holly Erb. When called up to go to Iraq, he gave her temporary full custody while he was overseas. While he was gone, Erb persuaded a family court to make her full custody permanent.
 

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