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Divorce Advice for Men | Fathers' Rights Divorce | Child Custody

Providing men with essential divorce advice, fathers' rights divorce information and child custody articles. Dads Divorce is a community for men facing divorce or fathers' rights issues and run by Cordell and Cordell. Cordell & Cordell is a family law firm with a focus on men's divorce, child custody and fathers' rights divorce.
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child custodyBy Matt Allen


If you have ever been involved in a child custody case or you are about to begin one you most likely have heard the phrase "best interests of the child."

Almost every state determines child custody and visitation issues based on the best interests of the child standard.

State statutes and case law define this standard differently, but in general there are certain factors and themes that appear in the majority of states.

So when you ask the inevitable question of "what are my chances I’ll get custody", here is a general list of what the courts use to analyze the "best interests of the child," according to Cordell & Cordell attorney Jennifer Paine:

  • The love, affection, and other emotional ties existing between the parties involved and the child.
  • The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to give the child love, affection and guidance and to continue the education and raising of the child in his or her religion or creed, if any.
  • The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to provide the child with food, clothing, medical care or other remedial care.
  • The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment, and the desirability of maintaining continuity.
  • The permanence of the existing or proposed home or homes.
  • The moral fitness of the parties involved.
  • The mental and physical health of the parties involved.
  • The home, school, and community record of the child.
  • The reasonable preference of the child, if the court considers the child to be of sufficient age to express preference.
  • The willingness and ability of each of the parties to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship between the child and the other parent of the child and parents.
  • Domestic violence, regardless of whether the violence was directed against or witnessed by the child.
  • Any other factor considered by the court to be relevant to the particular family.

You will find the same or similar factors in most states. 

So playing a part in the child custody analysis will be your location at the time of the divorce, your relationship with your children, your relationship with your spouse, who was the primary caregiver, where the children have an established, familiar environment, where the children go to school, which parent is more likely to encourage the children's current religious education, etc.

An experienced family law attorney will know how to advocate on your behalf.

Cordell & Cordell has men's divorce lawyers located nationwide that fight for fathers rights to remain an active part of their children's lives post-divorce.

Comments (27)Add Comment
written by LK, March 07, 2012
My wife is a Flight attendant with American Eagle and she is asking for Primary custody !!! She asked me to move out of her house as she filed for divorce, which I denied as if I would have moved out then my daughter (2yr old) would have to stay in day care over night as my wife travels frequently out of state and even country. One day she called the cops falsely accusing me of family violence. I was arrested, even though there was no sign whatsoever of any injury or anything. So my questions are:

1. How do I prove that these charges were framed to kick me out of the house

2. Can she get Primary custody keeping the fact in mind that she travels extensively ?
Prepare for Battle
written by WT, March 11, 2012

Did she serve you papers while you were in Jail? Has she served you yet? I am not an attorney.....I'm definately not..but here is just some guy common sense stuff.

1.) Get an Attorney... Yesterday.....sell what ever you have what ever you have to do....get!

2.)If you didn't do anything....don't plead guilty under any advice of anyone. Once she has a conviction on you.....
....well its hard to argue that your not an abuser if there is a guilty record on the books.

3.) I'd get back into the house as soon as possiable....and file first. Set the world the way you would like it to be through your attorney.

4.) Find a good church.....and get into counseling......maybe even ask her to go.....the baby isn't going anywhere and still will need good parents. I fly a lot...and there is a lot of temptation...on both knows why she is filing. Lets just hope she is a strong person of good moral character....and counseling will help determine if the problem is you.

5.) God bless you and good luck. I hope you don't have to get a Divorce...but if you do.....Prepare for Battle!!!!!!!!!!!

written by GKA, June 22, 2012
Parents have a right to decide what is in the best interest of their children. No fit parent who is innocent of wrong doing should have the taken away. A parent that is responsible for break up of the family forfeits the right to decide how the family should be divided.

The Court should not have the right to decide the best interest of any child in a divorce unless both parents have been proven to be unfit and/or equally responsible for the dissolution of the marriage.
Custody Battle....
written by Jake Talor, July 25, 2012
The Mother of my child is living in uncomfortable situation with my child. They are sleeping on a air mattress in a house where child protective has been called at that resident for another child in that house hold. Is there anyway me being the father can get full custody of my child.
written by Symantha, September 04, 2012
Hi, I'm Symantha im 13 and i have a really bad past about my cusdody.I was with my mom for about 7 years of my life then a lot of stuff was going on so everyone in my family tunred on my mom becuase she was doing drugs, being abused by my step dad in fron of me. And so I wasnt in school but i was unknowing of the whole sistuation.Then my dad recived full custdody of me.And ever since i was in fourth grade i was trying to live with my mom But she moved to Arkansas.....Then to west virginia for about 3 or 4 yearsl.So I really wanted to live with her and Now since im 13 I am old enough to deicide but my dad said im still a minor and cant make desitionas for myself.....I dont know what to do form here becuase klnow my momther got her problems together and know is soon getting her opwn house down were i live and is getting a job and I am trying to live with her...But I dont know what to do from her help please?
written by Dwight Coots, October 03, 2012
My children"s mother have lived with a man that was sexualy molested, she have had the children at a sitter that had PTSD, and angery issue, she has had them with a man that was in a drug and alc. program. She kept the kids from me for 219 day in 2011. she has hit and punch my daughter. she has kept them from communication with me. She has moved them four time in less then a year and a half. She got behind on her rent several times. She has tried to contol every move they made.She has had my daughter on meds. then took her off them. I have give my ex money and other things to help her out, but everytime I try to address issue about the children she take it personally and we go to court because I'm accued of harrassing her. My question what is my next move. Do I have enough evident to get custody of the children?
written by AD, October 03, 2012
I have been in a constant battle for custody of my 3 kids. My ex-wife first filed for divorce because I didnt mkae enough money to apy for her constant shopping sprees and ever since the divorce uses the kids as tools to get what she wants out of me. For example I wnated the house sold because she refused to buy me out, so she told the kids they were going to have to move to another country because "daddy is kicking them out of the house", so I signed th ehouse over to her as my kids were always coming to me crying that they didnt want to be away from me. She drags me back into court every 6 months for an increase in child support which she spends on herself not the kids. The courts here are ruling like its the 1950's. They dont see the emotional abuse she applies to the kids. She put my son on medication against my wishes so she didnt have to deal with his outbursts which he never pulls when with me and now has the court forcing me to give to him on days when he is with me. After 5 years I have exhausted all my income and energy to fight but I love my kids more than anything and they prefer to be with me but the court caters to her because of tradition, she is a female and it is a small town. Im deeply concerned about my kids future but feel like my hands are tied
Child Custody
written by Fred, May 08, 2013
Custody ideally should be with both parents with the child having ample access to each. But when the child's best interest is to be with the father, if the mother is unstable emotionally for instance, then custody should be with the father and I think the court will do this if given enough evidence. But a child really needs both parents, if possible.
Child Custody
written by John, June 18, 2013
Can a mother of two who is a illegal immigrant take the father to court in Harris County Texas for custody of a child & child support?

She works under a fake SS, wants to live the party life, has low income and the father owns a house has a long term job and financially stabled.
written by SGT Rother, July 08, 2013
While on my last deployment my wife of 11 years decided to give up on our marriage. I returned home on June 20th of this year, 2 hrs after getting home she tried to have me served. I just recent found out she has slept with over 5 guys while I was gone. She neglected my boys ages 10,7,4 leaving them at home alone sometimes overnight, with babysitters every weekend sometimes with no food or little food. We had our temporary court on July 2, where she won temporary custody of the children even though she was caught lying in court.. Why... all I want is custody of my children she can have everything else... please help
written by CA, July 11, 2013
I'm a father of a 3 year old. My wife and I are currently divorcing and for the time being remain in the family home (she wants to sell, I want to keep, it's underwater). I'm asking that we divide custody 50/50 or as close to it as possible. She wants nearly 80% custody and I think that's crazy. What are the chances a judge will rule in my favor?

1) We are in California (LA)
2) We both are employed full time and have our daughter in daycare for 8-9 hours during workdays. She drops off, I pick up.
3) We both make similar wages and work similar hours, able provide for our child equally
4) Daycare, our jobs and future residences will all be within 10 miles of each other.

She's been having an affair and leaving the home for overnights and I've been keeping track of the hours spent with our daughter. My calculations have me at 55% and her at 45%, which has been the routine for the last 5 months (and will continue to be so until our court date an additional 2 months from now). Moral to the story, I've remained present and stable, mom comes and goes.

written by Custody 2, September 24, 2013
My situation is very similar to the father with three Year old. I am still hanging in there right now but can see an end in the near future . i am curious how was your outcome?
written by Miki, December 03, 2013
Child Custody
written by John, June 18, 2013
Can a mother of two who is a illegal immigrant take the father to court in Harris County Texas for custody of a child & child support? Yes she can, Contact ICE and report her for fraud using a fake SS# and report her to the local Prosecutor. You will be given custody , she will go to jail and could be deported out of the USA. Good luck don't wait!
written by Tj, December 04, 2013
Can my girlfriend love with me during a custody case ?
written by Eric, February 02, 2014
Fathers, men, please if you really want to be in your child's life and they are of sufficient age. Get a Guardian Ad Litem and give your children a voice in court. the short term expense will more then pay for itself. If you are married to a woman who is only about herself and can provide documentation showing as much your chances of getting custody are much higher. Record all that se does, where she does it and never give up. Your children's futures are at stake.
Dear Fathers,
written by John.finler, April 25, 2014
Getting custody of a child for us men isnt always easy. Luckily there is a way. When i got a divorce from my ex i tought she was going to keep my two daughters, but luckily i got the best lawyers in New York that fought their hardest till i got them. They weren't going to stop until i got them and i will forever be greatful for that. I was so happy with my results that i feel like i have to put the firms name out as gratitude. So if you guise ever need help with custody issues, or divorce for that matter, don't go anywhere else other than
written by Jeffrey Wallace, August 22, 2014
Winning the custody of your child is very difficult. As said in the article the court makes the decision only after considering a number of aspects. The parent which scores in all of them will get the custody. In most cases your child support law firm will be able to guide you through the process. They will be able to give you the right advices that can help boost your chances of winning the custody of your child.
written by anonymous , October 03, 2014
i have been married one year since oct 8th 2013. i live with my mom and he stays with his mom. i have our son. i had gotten my what i thought to be husband a job guaranteed. a place to live with us here. and he said he was gonna do it but then just unexpectedly quit talking to me all together. i cant get no response for nohthing ive asked if he wanted me to bring our son to him he wouldnt even respond to that? is that considered abandonment and would i be able to get full custody of my son?
Help Me Please
written by TaylorJ, October 05, 2014
I am a 13 year old girl and i understand that this is very off topic, however i want to live with my father in florida and will do anything to do so. My mother and i have had horrible relationship issues ever since i was smaller, and my parents divorced when i was very young. THere are many nasty scenes between my mother and i and things she has called me which are totally unnacceptable. However, the court will be hard to convince and they so far think that she is a fit mother. I feel like killing myself a lot and often cry myself to sleep. I am not asking for pity, i am just asking for help. What should i do?
moved 4 times in 1 year.
written by troy, October 19, 2014
I am the father of a 5 year old and have shared custody with the mother. she has moved 4 times this year is that enough to start a case?
help me out?
written by anonymous, October 24, 2014
So recently I've been having problems with my childs mother over my fiance, and step sons mother. My ex tried getting CPS on her, and I signed my rights over to her until I could get my situation worked out but its understandable why she won't let me see my son anymore but I would like to know if I could fight back for my rights back? Or what would be the chances because I do care for my son and we'll do anything to get him back? Help me out please? /.
need help asap please
written by Julissa, October 26, 2014
Good evening, I need serious help. My bf has a son and only sees him every other weekend.The child seems to know things he shouldn't know. I'm just going to be blunt about it, he was caught with his pants down with my niece (both five years old). I asked him about it and he simply said because he wanted to. I began to question where he got it from and he said from no one. I continued to pry because he couldn't have thought it up on his own. He told me he saw it at his mother's dad's house. I asked who and he said his mom with her dad. Now my bf contacted the mother and she questioned the child as well. He said the same thing. She swore up and down, even on the child's life, that it wasn't true. My bf told her he was taking further action. Unfortunately, due to his work schedule, he wasnt able to file right away. She went ahead and filed herself to revise parenting time. Even had child protective services come to our home (her's as well) over an infection the child had on his penis. Turned out it was a bacterial infection that was common among children if they wear dirty undewear or sleep on dirty sheets. Now we're not perfect, but that's disgusting. He's only at our house every other weekend from Friday night to Monday morning. We bathe him, wash his clothes and sheets, and he has more than enough underwear. We tried going to the child's doctor to obtain his medical records. My bf was refused medical records by the doctor for whatever reason. She just kept dodging his request by stating she was just making sure the infection wasn't an STD and she doesn't know if she should give him records. Her excuse was because the child is under the mother's insurance and she has to make a copayment every time she goes, which has nothing to do with medical records but whatever. Anyway, bf has a court date for December, but was still trying to file his own case for sole custosy today. He wasn't allowed to because according to them, he has a warrant for child support. I don't see how when $80 is subtracted from his check every week. The gentleman he was speaking to (to file) stated he couldn't file because of the warrant and that he has to speak to probation about that situation. According to the gentleman, his hands were tied. I am beyond disappointed in the system. It's like it is structured specifically against fathers. Please help me! I need advise. I don't want my bf to lose his son and more importantly, for that poor child to continue to grow in that environment! Is there anyway we can gain full or sole custody? We actually want to move (live in nj, horrible environment and neighborhood, child lives in the same city so same environment and we want to move with him to fl) Thank you for your time
written by royal causey, November 24, 2014
My son was taking by child protection services how can i get help to gain custody in tampa
Soon to be Ex and children
written by Steve, November 25, 2014
Arizona laws here Children ages 1 and 3.

Wife left a year ago and went to live who-knows-where. She lied on the Order of Protection alleging abusive acts that simply did not exist. The Judge didn't want to hear any of the witnesses I had to that effect. Order of Protection was issued forbidding any contact between me and her, the kids and even the dogs. Now we are in Court arguing for custody and the fact that I have had no contact with the kids is being used as an argument that I should not have any custody, but I was prevented from contact with them by the Court Order.

She is on welfare. I have a job. If I get custody I have easy access to free child care provided by my parents who live next door to me.

Any suggestions on how I can get my kids back?
how i got my ex back
written by vanilla, December 12, 2014

I am Vanella Jones i lives in united states and i was in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years.. One day we were in a dinner party, we had a little misunderstanding which lead to a Quarrel and he stood up and left me at the dinner party. i try to call him but he was not picking my calls so a30fter than i contacted my brother and told him about it,my brother so much love me that he had to see him on my behalf,he told my brother that it is over between us. I cry all day, Then i contacted a friend of mine that had this similar experience and she directed me to lord Mason , and i contacted him and tell him my problems how i lost my relationship with my lover. at first i thought it was not going to be possible.i was ask to come up with a little requirement information of me and boyfriend,so i did what i was ask to do, after 24Hours the spell was cast i was in my office when clark called me and was asking me to forgive him. i was very surprise it was like a dream to me. my boyfriend is now back and he treat me well. and our relationship is now stronger ask ever before. if you are out there looking for help is time for you to still put your hope on Lord Mason love spell, i promise you that you will be happy with your boyfriend again email him. tell +2347053105287.

the spell caster that help me bring back love
written by chloe, December 12, 2014
Hello friends i want to share my testimony and how grateful i'm since my lover came back to me because of the grate help Lord Masuka whose email address is render to me. my boyfriend broke up with me first week of july this year because he thought i was cheating on him, he told me that his friends has been telling him that i have been seeing someone else when he is not around i tried to make him understand that his friends are lieing to him but he did not give me the chance to explain to him this was how he left me. after a month of our breakup i tried to live a normal life without him but it was very hard for me to cope then i decided to contact Lord masuka via his email address which i came across this months September 12th during my search looking for help how to get my lover back he cast a love spell for me and make my lover to come back to me within the period of 48hours. with this grate joy in my heart i want to say a big thanks to lord masuka he is the best spell caster and he is the best solution.

How i got my ex back
written by Malcolm, December 14, 2014
I live in united state, Two years ago i married a lady called saline, we had two children together, we were very happy to be husband and wife, so when i travel on business trip to Brazil, i spent 1 years in Brazil due to my kind of business, i and my wife talked on phone all the time, we chat on the Internet, i never knew that my wife had started cheating on me by going out with her old school friend called mark, i never knew something was going wrong till i came back from my trip, then i and My wife started having problems, she goes out and come back late at night, she changed in a strange way that i could not endure, i tried to do everything to please her but it got worst, so one day she left the house and never came back, i tried reaching her but no way i could reach her, i never knew she traveled with her new lover which was mark, i wanted her so much because of the children she left for me and because i loved her so much too, because of the heart break she has put me into, i went into search of a real magic spell caster I was scammed twice by a spell caster, but I never relented in my search because I want a happy life with my wife, so one morning i saw testimony about a spell caster Esango Priest, so i contacted him and to my greatest surprise this made life manful for me again, my wife came back to me after 3 days of a love spell from this Esango Priest, i took her back and I am now settled with my wife by the magic power of Esango Priest .

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