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Ask a Divorce Lawyer topics for April 8: Changing retirement formulas in the decree; sexist judges; new wife and first right of refusal; requesting a new guardian ad litem; international divorce

Apr 08, 2010

divorce lawyer adviceAmong the Ask a Divorce Lawyer questions answered today by Cordell & Cordell attorneys:

  • The wrong retirement formula was originally put in my decree. Can a court make me change my divorce decree to put the right formula in there?
  • What can I do about my judge being blatantly sexist against me?
  • My current settlement agreement states that I must give my ex-wife first right of refusal to watch my children overnight when I will not be home. I am getting remarried and want to know if my new wife can act on my behalf in this instance or do I still have to give my ex first right of refusal?
  • Can you request a new Guardian Ad Litem?
  • If we get a divorce here in America would I have to pay child support or alimony to my wife if she lives in another country?

Posted by: mallen | Comment (0) |

Ask A Lawyer: How Do I Get Uninterrupted Time With My Children?

Nov 16, 2009

Question:

I am wondering what the laws are on several issues.

1) On the weekends that I have our children, my ex-wife continually schedules appointments for them that interrupt my parenting time. What are the laws that protect my time so that it is uninterrupted?

2) We have a 13 year old son that my ex-wife wants to continue taking to a babysitter (her mother) on my weekends. However, my current wife is available and would be more than happy to be with him until I get home from work. What are the laws on right of refusal that allow me to exercise my parenting time as I see fit?

3) On the days that I have my children, am running 30 minutes behind and cannot pick them up on time, can I have my wife pick them up? Or does the decision get to be made solely by my ex-wife? Our current custody agreement is 51% for my ex-wife and 49% for me. Is there a site where I can look up specific laws to protect my rights for uninterrupted time with my children?


Posted by: pmcmahon | Comment (0) |

Ask A Lawyer: How Many Days Can Children Be Left Alone Before It Is Neglect?

Oct 22, 2009

Question:

I would like to know how many days children of 15 years through 18 years can be left alone without a parent present. What are the general rules that apply when two divorced parents split custody, but when one parent is leaving minor children unsupervised? Does this fit into a right of first refusal? What is the procedure for my documenting this and calling it to the court's attention?

 


Posted by: pmcmahon | Comment (0) |

Ask a Lawyer: How do "rights of first refusal" work when there is a stepmother involved?

Jul 05, 2009

Question:

I would like some information on first rights. My fiance has joint custody of his daughter from a previous relationship. He gets the child one week and his ex gets her the next. He agreed to first rights in the custody agreement. My understanding of the Parenting Guidelines is that if he has to hire someone to care for the child on his week while he is at work, he must first give the mother the option for additional parenting time. Since we live together and I am available to keep her at home while he is at work, does he have to offer her first rights? We have been told that Indiana doesn't even have a first right statute any longer, but he put it in the custody agreement. She is so hostile that she wants him to not even leave the child with me for his doctor's appointments. She is constantly causing problems and as soon as we can afford to obtain an attorney we would like to take her back to court to have first rights taken out, to change the custody from one week to two at a time, and to have the court explain to her what reasonable and flexible means. We have tried to keep his daughter at home with me while he is at work, but she causes so much trouble that he relents and lets her take her. Neither one of them work 9-5 jobs. He works 1pm - 7pm, and she works at a BP gas station so her schedule can change from day to day. Even though she does try to keep a schedule on his week so that she is always available to have the child when he is at work. To show how unreasonable she can be - when his older daughter(child's half sister) graduated, she absolutely refused to extend any additional time so that we could take her with us. It was his week when we left on Wed but the graduation was not until Sat. This was also Memorial Day weekend (and it was her holiday). He offered her Fourth of July and all make up days for the extra time that we would have her. She basically told him that since I was going that he could not take her. That if his parents (who live in Alabama) wanted to take her that they could, but she didn't want me having any extra time with her daughter. It didn't matter that it was her sister's graduation. Even though he usually tries to get along and not rock the boat, we took her with us any way. It was pure hell when we got back. We save all of the voicemail messages that she leaves and record them on cassette tapes in anticipation of going back to court. Thanks for your help. Linda

Answer:

I am not licensed in IN and therefore cannot answer your question specifically to the laws of that State. We often put rights of first refusal into parenting plans, though I often do not recommend using them if the parents are unable to communicate. My typical language used for a right of first refusal includes a timeframe of 2-4 hours of estimated time that the child would be with a third party before the need to call the other parent kicks in. However, if the terms of right of first refusal is active, you as the fiance (or step parent for that matter) are a "third party" and the mother should be called before leaving the child with you. With regard to your Memorial Day incident, I believe the Mother was justified in giving you "hell" upon your return. It is not justified to take her weekend regardless of the reasons behind her refusal to trade weekends. She is not obligated to explain her reasons for refusing to trade holidays. The court order controls. It would be nice if people could always work together, be flexible in trading weekends or altering pick up times, but if the parties are unable to AGREE to a change, it is not justified that your fiance just take her weekend. Be careful returning to court if mother can show more incidents like you describe. It might end up that the father has less than fifty-fifty at the end of that fight.

Posted by: admin | Comment (1) |
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