Divorce Advice for Men | Fathers Rights Divorce | Child Custody

Here's the Cliff Notes....Divorced July 03 with joint custody of our 3 kids. She requested I take full custody in Dec 03 & I did. She was ordered in June 04 to pay $30/wk in support (she became a stripper w/no traceable income). It's now April 05 and she's NEVER paid a penny of support and is now pregnant (due Nov 05) by her live-in boyfriend and claiming that she can't strip and will be a stay-at-home mom so she cannot pay any support past or future. I have totally been supporting the kids and always let her have visitation (when she shows up) but she is continually given "chances" by the courts at catching up on her delinquent support & 50/50 of medical/dental bills (now totaling $4,000). We go back to court on 4-29-05 and at the last appearance on 3-31-05 she was given another 30 days to pay every week without missing any payments to be reviewed on 4/29 but she has not paid a penny still! The judge told her that she'd better pay and that if she gets cut on her dancing shifts then she'd better get a part time job. She has not announced the pregnancy and I'm anticipating that she will use this on 4/29 when she is found in contempt (once again) of the CS order. Her driver's license has already been suspended so the only other recourse would have to be jail time. She thinks that the pregnancy excuse will excuse her from any support because she will have a new one to support on her own. Is this true? Can she get some sort of doctor's excuse to keep her from working and be excused from supporting the kids? The sick part is that the exotic dance industry is in NO WAY regulated and her income is totally tax free and she has not filed taxes in 2 years but she is getting public aid to pay for the pregnancy!

This is just a small part of a very unfortunate problem. Turns out my ex has a mother who owns a licensed home daycare. The last daycare receipts I got this last summer from my ex were all for cash - one of them $100.00. She gave me the receipts (the kind you get out of a $2 receipt book) so I could pay my portion (almost 50%). Two problems here. First, I doubt my ex is giving out $100 bills to her mom for our kids. Second, I asked my kids if they were at the daycare the six or so times that the receipts reported. Nope. Weren't even there. My daughter visited briefly with an adult friend, but otherwise, not only do I have to pay what ultimately 100%, but for services not even rendered! Sooo.. doesn't this give the ability of my ex to write out a blank check on my behalf? To complicate matters further... my employer pays for a portion of daycare. I need to pay it first then they are supposed to pay me back through my check which I am then supposed to pay the daycare provider. The judge at my trial said, well then, why don't you have your employer pay for the portion of the daycare and what isn't covered my ex should pay. Riiiiight. Well, I didn't even expect my employer's program to come up, but when I looked, I saw that it only applies to dependents that can be reported for me on taxes. Yeah, I get to choose only one of my two. Besides this, to profit from kids is wrong. To profit from divorce is not balanced and is wrong. My divorce, by the way is final, though at this writing, I have yet to see my paperwork and how it is worded in respect to my company paying for childcare and my ex paying for the rest. This last summer, my own mother traveled across the country to visit my kids, and watched them while I was gone. Nothing was ever charged to me or my ex. Nor would I have expected it. I do know who the accountant is for the daycare, I am pretty sure. Would their books be public information? The only think I can think of, is if their books are open, I can see what payments my ex made, if any, and if there weren't any, I could pursue fraud charges. Anything the kids say about them even being at the daycare while their mom has custody is hearsay. Is there any way out of this? It's fraud to the core, but maybe it's one that I have to live with. Please help.

I would like to know would it be in my best interest to get a lawyer even if I cannot afford one? Are there any lawyer that will work out financial payments? Also I have a hearing coming up soon for my divorce and I wanted to know the penalty for not showing up to court because I don't have a lawyer?