Divorce Advice for Men | Fathers Rights Divorce | Child Custody

By Lisa S. Brown

Board Certified Counselor

"Drugs do not make us happy, people do." - William Glasser

If I have learned anything during my lifetime is that we need people!

We were not put on this earth to function completely independent. We need a support system of some kind in order to truly flourish as human beings.

This is never more true than when divorced dads are trying to deal with a cataclysmic shift in their lives, such as divorce.

Question:

My wife suffers from a personality disorder, which has been informally diagnosed by our family therapist. As a result of her mental illness, she is emotionally and physically abusive to my children and I.

Can a court order be put into place to have a psychological exam done on my wife? And if she was found to be mentally unfit, how could that change the outcome of the custody battle?

Question: I have been trying to hold a marriage together for 10 years. She is severely mentally handicapped and at this point I am trying to see if I can salvage my children (four in all, two stepchildren) from this poison. 

I fear that my wife really wants me to make the first move. I think we are at the point where I need to know what my options are. I would really like to get 100% custody and I don't know how to start addressing that. Please help.

Question: Do I have to pay alimony since I have only made $8,000 a year the last 3 years due to a medical reason? Also, my wife made more like $15,000. She just had ex parte; she had an attorney and I didn’t. She wants child support, alimony and fees, and got 50/50 custody. 

Does she get alimony if I make a lot more money after the divorce is final? I’m also worried about her mental state, and there’s a police report showing narcotic abuse symptoms. Can I get a mental evaluation for her?

Question: My brother is divorced with four kids, including two with special needs, and the custody is split 50-50 in terms of visitation time. He is currently paying $400 each month in child support. 

The two weeks with him, then two weeks with their mother is affecting the children both mentally and physically, especially the two with special needs. He is willing to give full custody to his ex, who does not work, and she is trying to get disability on the two special needs kids. 

How can he find stabilization for the kids in order to have them keep a normal stable home without having to pay too much in child support? We all feel this would help the kids with their needs if the same parent is with them at all times.