Divorce Advice for Men | Fathers Rights Divorce | Child Custody

Question:

My wife took our children to Denmark (where we used to live) over a year ago for a vacation that I agreed to.

She had medical complications that forced her to stay this whole time, and now my wife has said she wants to live in Denmark with the children permanently.

I have filed for divorce and the children are with me back in the U.S. for a visit per a court order while we await our trial on where the kids should live.

There is no child custody order in place, just the court order that the kids are allowed to visit me for a month.

What are the rights for fathers if they refuse to send the kids back after their court-ordered visit is supposed to end? I feel like if I send them back to Denmark I will never see them again!

Question:

My ex-wife and kids have moved to another state and we do not have a parenting plan in place to allow for my parenting time.

Without a court-ordered plan in place granting me visitation rights, my ex-wife is refusing to let me visit the kids and sometimes won't even let me talk to them.

How can I get a visitation plan in place if my children live in another state?

By Kevin Mammola

Divorce Lawyer, Cordell & Cordell

Divorce is a highly charged, emotional time for all parties involved. When tempers are high, and fuses are short, trouble can arise that might lead to orders of protection being issued.

I recently came across a situation where an argument between a divorcing couple over child custody agreements turned ugly and the husband pushed his wife.

Through the course of a nearly 20-year marriage, this man had never hit, abused or even threatened those actions to his wife or his children in any way. He said his emotions simply got the best of him, he had no idea where the aggression came from, and he knew it was wrong the moment he touched her.

It was not a violent push; there were no bruises or marks or injuries. But by pushing her, it is likely that a court will find he committed an act of family violence.

So how does he deal with this situation, and how does the threat of having a temporary protection order issued against him affect his pending divorce case?

Question:

I was wondering about rights for fathers who are not married. I would like to take my child on vacation to another state over the summer.

So can I just leave with my daughter or do I need to also seek permission from her mother?

By Robert Ferrer

Archivist and Researcher, University of Illinois

Social critics have coined a term most appropriate for our discussion regarding divorce and fatherhood.  The term is vraisemblance, loosely translated as verisimilitude. 

It is the appearance of truth. It is a set of beliefs so obvious and natural that it lies beyond question or criticism. It is the ultimate tautology; it is because it is. 

Beliefs are assertions without quotation marks. Nobody knows where they came from or the basis for harboring such beliefs -- but by God, they are true.

Myths abound regarding fatherhood and children’s best interests, especially in the context of divorce. (Read my related article, "Fragile Families".) But, these myths apply beyond the special circumstances of never-married parents (not so uncommon anymore).   

So what are some of the popular beliefs about fathers, children and divorce?