I have been married for 22 years. Two years ago, my wife moved to a separate part of our home. When I approach her to discuss anything, she yells at the top of her voice. My wife leaves her personal journal out for me to read as she writes about her need to pursue a divorce and just needs the courage to do so. I know that if I bring it up she will proceed. Before I consider bring it up, what should I consider in preparation? We have a home that is paid off, a large sum of money, and a 401K retirement. I make in excess of $200,000 a year and she owns her own business and grosses about $11,000. Would it be best for me to file for divorce or wait it our and allow her to do so? I have taken her to counseling, both times she refused to attend once the focus turned to her.
I must preface my answer by stating I am not licensed in Colorado. You should also consult an attorney in your state as the law will vary. It is unlikely to make much difference regarding who files first when it comes to dividing assets. Generally, the marital pot will be determined as of the date of filing your divorce. So, the benefit to filing sooner rather than later is you may have fewer assets now than a year from now. If you anticipate that your wife's income will drastically increase in the near future then it may be worth waiting. Some states do award alimony and maintenance. Which may be based on your spouse earnings or earning ability. Her income may also be considered when dividing your assets.