Divorce Advice for Men | Fathers Rights Divorce | Child Custody

By Jennifer M. Paine

Divorce Lawyer, Cordell & Cordell

Substance use and substance abuse are two different things, particularly in divorce cases.

Of course, no illegal use is a good use, but there is quite a difference between a single use in a moment of bad judgment and a chronic daily use.

The former is likely to result in a reprimand from your judge and an order for counseling and/or parenting classes, and the latter could lead to loss of child custody or parental rights.

But don't rush to conclusions.

By Jennifer M. Paine

Divorce Lawyer, Cordell & Cordell

If you feel like your life is an episode of "Intervention" except your spouse refuses to acknowledge her problem, let alone accept treatment, you are not alone.

Substance abuse in divorce remains a problem dealt with mainly in the home or, more often, not at all.

Anecdotally, this is a trend the divorce lawyers for men at Cordell & Cordell see in our offices. While more clients come to us having gone through treatment personally or supported their spouse through treatment, most refuse to discuss the problem or treatment.

Many have gone years keeping their or their spouse's problem hidden from family and friends.

Add to this the confusion of the divorce process, and none are willing to have the problem featured in their divorce – preferring instead to brush it aside and deal with later.

That’s a mistake. Here are divorce tips for men you should use when substance abuse is a part of your divorce and child custody case.

By Lisa S. Brown

Board Certified Counselor

When it comes to seeking help or obtaining professional counseling services it seems that divorced dads have a more difficult time doing so then women.

It is obvious of course to why this is, as so many men were socialized as children to believe that crying or showing emotion was feminine or worse yet, weak.

"Crying is for babies" or "be a man" are terms that have been coined in many households.

Unfortunately as a society men are expected to be tough and immune to emotion. The reality is that men have feelings just as women do, and they should be encouraged to deal with the pain and wide array of emotions that accompany divorce.

Question:

I am looking for divorce tips for men on how to enforce court orders.

I am supposed to have court-ordered counseling with my children in an effort to rebuild my relationship with them due to years of my ex-wife's parental alienation. 

However, since my ex has primary child custody and the counseling falls during her parenting time, she is refusing to take the children.

What can I do to get this court order enforced so I can have counseling with my children?

Among the Ask a Divorce Lawyer questions answered today by Cordell & Cordell attorneys:

• If I never turned in our marriage certificate to the clerk, am I still legally married?
• I've been making the mortgage payments during the divorce process so is the home mine during this time?
• Can I request the kids be taken out of daycare if they're old enough? Why do I pay for that and child support?
• Do I have to pay half of our child's counseling fees if there is no court order and my ex set it up without input from me?
• My child's mother is moving states and leaving my child to live with a friend. I'll still be paying child support. Shouldn't she have to pay as well since she's leaving the child or can I have more obligation reduced?
• My ex has a court order to refinance the mortgage, but has already been denied once. What happens if she can't refinance?
• My ex is paid off but I still owe the state a lot of money, the majority of which is surcharges that will keep piling up. Do I have any options?