Divorce Advice for Men | Fathers Rights Divorce | Child Custody

By Matt Allen

Editor, DadsDivorce.com

You’ve arrived home from work and as you sort through the day’s mail you see there’s a note from your ex-wife asking for payment for Tommy’s new baseball uniforms and asking you to pick up some new clothes and toiletry items for Susie when she comes to stay with you next weekend.

But wait a minute; you’ve paid your child support this month and on time like you have every other payment.

With all the money you are paying for child support, why are you being asked to provide additional support to cover these other expenses?

It begs the question, what does child support cover?

Question: My husband has joint custody (per divorce decree) of his 19 year old and 14 year old. The 19 year old recently started college. My husband went to his lawyer to adjust child support to account for the student going away for college. Instead, his child support requirement went UP. His ex-wife only makes $20,000 a year and her income literally has not changed since their divorce 11 years ago. She has chosen this income, as she continues to reduce her hours at her convenience. My husband's salary, however, has gone up over time, commensurate with cost of living, etc. 

The current child support requirement was agreed upon by both parties via a mediator eleven years ago. Based on their discussion with an attorney, his child support (based on the Indiana scale) will go up. Support laws are obviously made to benefit the mother. I can go into many reasons why this is not equitable, based on her behaviors, her lack of parenting time with the children, etc., but that's all irrelevant. How can we make this more equitable? Why is she allowed to continue to have a low salary and he continues to have an improving salary, yet he is the one penalized for this?

Question: My ex-wife and mother-in-law were allowed into my house by our 12-year-old daughter while I was out of the house. Without my consent, furniture was moved from her room. How do you suggest I deal with this situation?

Question: My wife has been cheating on me. When I found out I confronted her and she told me all about the affair. I don’t have any physical evidence though. 

We have a 3 year old and I want joint custody with me as the primary caregiver. What should I do to try and get the custody that I want?

Question: I am finalizing our separation and will use the formula for alimony and child support. My wife is asking that we further split costs of extracurricular activities. I am unsure what, exactly, child support is intended to cover and what it does not cover. Understanding that will allow a clean break, instead of reconciling receipts every month to see who owes what. 

I am glad to make joint decisions on what can be afforded outside of the intended use of child support, but I must rely on guidelines to ensure I am not considering payment on expenses that should be covered by monthly child support. Can you help with this? What does child support cover?