Question:
My husband's ex has now filed
Nov 29, 1999
Question:
What should I do if my wife wants a divorce but I do not? My wife will not agree to go to counseling, she does not have a problem
Nov 29, 1999
Question:
What constitutes a substantial change in circumstances? My husband is the non-custodial parent of his son from a previous marriage and we want to change that so he is the custodial parent. It has been over 2 years since they signed their parenting agreement and since that time the following has occured: 1. The ex-wife has remarried and has gone from being a single parent of one to a mother of 6 (4 stepchildren, 1 child from marriage w/my husband, 1 child with new husband). 2. Due to the increased number of people in the household my husband's son is forced to share a room with his 10 year old stepsister (his son is only 5). 3. We feel his stepbrother (15) is a negative influence on his son as he tries to get him to do things he doesn't want to do (hurt his sister, etc.) His son has expressed "being nervous" when he is at his mothers not because of the older stepbrother. 4. New husband smokes in the house when son is in their care. Is this enough to prove a substantial change in circumstances? My husband's son would not have to change schools/friends as we live in the same school district so he would have continuity in that area.
Answer:
First let me advise you that I am not licensed in the state of Illinois and laws will vary from state to state. It is sometimes difficult to define a substantial change in circumstance. The mere fact that mother has remarried is not likely to be enough. If you can prove that the remarriage has created an unhealthy environment for the child it may be a factor. You mentioned that new husband is a smoker. Does the child have a medical condition that makes smoking especially harmful to him? Ultimately, custody decisions are made based on the best interest of the child. Modifications of custody are usually more difficult. It may be helpful to contact an attorney in your area. They should be familiar with the court in your area and what that court perceives as a change in circumstance.
Nov 29, 1999
Question:
11 years ago the Dept of Public Aid Child Support Division took over my husband
Nov 29, 1999
Question:
My wife starts violent arguments every day. Name calling, telling me to leave, etc. It's a very hostile environment. I know she wants a divorce, and is trying to drive me out. Here are some facts: married 22 years 21 yr. old at home in college, 30 yr. old away wife works XXXX, since 1978 I work 20 hrs. a week @ $6.00 per hour-1yr. I stayed home and babysat & cooked for most of our years together. 1994 I had back surgery for ruptured disk, and higher paying jobs won't have me. between $700-$800 thousand in savings & stock She may have tranferred or changed names on some monies. I cannot afford to leave and support myself as of yet. What can I do ? PLEASE HELP!
Answer:
Do you want a divorce? Have you sought counseling? If you can not save the marriage, then you need to get a firm handle on the finances. Know what is out there and in whose name. That way if she does anything funny you can prove the existence of assets. Also, you are entitled to half of the retirement assets that she has accumulated during your marriage. You may also qulaify for maintenance/alimony due to the income earning disparity between the two of you. Also you need to examine if you went to work full time, what you could make. The Court will need that information if you pursue maintenance. Further, be sure to avoid conflict. If she initiates any confrontations, walk away. A common tactic used in divorce cases is for one spouse to file an Order of Protection to get the other spouse out of the house and try to establish the other spouse as an abuser. Be careful of this. If she gets desperate, she might try it. I think you should make an appointment with a lawyer to discuss a strategy in case she files or to decide if you want to file.
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