Question:
My wife starts violent arguments every day. Name calling, telling me to leave, etc. It's a very hostile environment. I know she wants a divorce, and is trying to drive me out. Here are some facts: married 22 years 21 yr. old at home in college, 30 yr. old away wife works XXXX, since 1978 I work 20 hrs. a week @ $6.00 per hour-1yr. I stayed home and babysat & cooked for most of our years together. 1994 I had back surgery for ruptured disk, and higher paying jobs won't have me. between $700-$800 thousand in savings & stock She may have tranferred or changed names on some monies. I cannot afford to leave and support myself as of yet. What can I do ? PLEASE HELP!
Answer:
Do you want a divorce? Have you sought counseling? If you can not save the marriage, then you need to get a firm handle on the finances. Know what is out there and in whose name. That way if she does anything funny you can prove the existence of assets. Also, you are entitled to half of the retirement assets that she has accumulated during your marriage. You may also qulaify for maintenance/alimony due to the income earning disparity between the two of you. Also you need to examine if you went to work full time, what you could make. The Court will need that information if you pursue maintenance. Further, be sure to avoid conflict. If she initiates any confrontations, walk away. A common tactic used in divorce cases is for one spouse to file an Order of Protection to get the other spouse out of the house and try to establish the other spouse as an abuser. Be careful of this. If she gets desperate, she might try it. I think you should make an appointment with a lawyer to discuss a strategy in case she files or to decide if you want to file.