Divorce Advice for Men | Fathers Rights Divorce | Child Custody

By Robert Ferrer

Archivist and Researcher, University of Illinois

In my previous divorce article, I examined Professor Edward Kruk's most recent study, which in part called for the overhaul of the system used to determine child custody.

"Divorced Fathers: Children’s Needs and Parental Responsibilities" not only proves wrong myths about fathers – such as dads only want more parenting time to reduce financial obligations – but also advocates for active parenting from both parents post-divorce.

However, the system currently in place is "rooted in a framework of child custody determination that removes one parent as a primary caregiver, limits parenting options within a sole custody model and discriminates against children of divorce while perpetuating an adversarial approach to dispute resolution" (page 11). 

In support of this assertion, Kruk (pictured) proposes a "four-pillar framework" of child custody determination (pages 96-101).

By Robert Ferrer

Archivist and Researcher, University of Illinois

I was going to continue my inquiry into current myths about children, fathers and divorce, but while on vacation I read the latest book by Professor Edward Kruk, "Divorced Fathers: Children’s Needs and Parental Responsibilities."

The results of his most recent study published in his book affirm much of what I postulated in my article, "The Urgency of Reform." I found his study most fascinating and would like to share with you some of his findings on divorce rights for men.

The key theme of the book is discontinuity. Kruk is referring to significant discrepancies in how the court views things and the reality of its rulings. 

Kruk also sees significant discrepancies in child custody and caretaking arrangements pre- and post- divorce. (Read related article "A Proposed Solution For How Child Custody Is Decided")

By Robert Ferrer

Archivist and Researcher, University of Illinois

Social critics have coined a term most appropriate for our discussion regarding divorce and fatherhood.  The term is vraisemblance, loosely translated as verisimilitude. 

It is the appearance of truth. It is a set of beliefs so obvious and natural that it lies beyond question or criticism. It is the ultimate tautology; it is because it is. 

Beliefs are assertions without quotation marks. Nobody knows where they came from or the basis for harboring such beliefs -- but by God, they are true.

Myths abound regarding fatherhood and children’s best interests, especially in the context of divorce. (Read my related article, "Fragile Families".) But, these myths apply beyond the special circumstances of never-married parents (not so uncommon anymore).   

So what are some of the popular beliefs about fathers, children and divorce? 

By Jennifer Knudtson

Board Member, Children’s Rights Council of Illinois

My journey with support groups started shortly after I married, when I joined one for stepmoms.

The reassurance I felt from having other faces in the room, all nodding in agreement while I spoke about our blended family issues, was immeasurable. 

My husband David's divorce and child custody case was highly contentious and went to trial.

As I watched my husband's case unfold in the family law court system, my eyes were opened to the many opportunities for reform including the "winner take all" mentality that subverts the children's needs to that of the parents. 

By Brittany Martin

Intern, Children’s Rights Council of Illinois

A group of parents wanted nothing more than to have parenting time with their children. They had every right to do so, even court orders granting them visitation, but the orders had not been followed.

Repeated incidences of visitation interference, which is the purposeful withholding of children from the other parent, is particularly upsetting, even traumatizing.

To address the issue of parents' access to their children, organizations around the country, including Children’s Rights Council of Illinois (CRC-IL), are holding visitation interference workshops designed to provide divorce help for men and women.