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Divorce Advice for Men | Fathers' Rights Divorce | Child Custody

Providing men with essential divorce advice, fathers' rights divorce information and child custody articles. Dads Divorce is a community for men facing divorce or fathers' rights issues and run by Cordell and Cordell. Cordell & Cordell is a family law firm with a focus on men's divorce, child custody and fathers' rights divorce.
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custody battle

Compiled by Cordell & Cordell Divorce Attorneys For Men

The divorce process is usually very difficult and trying for anyone experiencing it. These difficult times often cause a person to act or react irrationally and in ways that detrimentally affect his or her case.

You should be aware prior to court proceedings that the court will evaluate your behavior in its entirety throughout the proceedings and always behave accordingly. 

Below are some of the factors judges consider when making a child custody determination along with the 10 most common mistakes made by men during custody battles.

Best Interest Of The Child Standard

To determine how not to behave during this process it is helpful to review the criteria used by the judge ("court") to determine appropriate placement of the children. The court is charged with the responsibility of evaluating the situation to determine what placement and parenting time is in the child’s best interest.

Some of the considerations include but are not limited to:

a) The length of time that the child has been under the actual care and control of any person other than a parent and the circumstances relevant thereto;

b) the desires of the parents as to residence-agreements reached by the parents and submitted to the court are usually presumed to be in the child’s best interest;

c) the interaction and interrelationship of the child with parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child’s best interests;

d) the child’s adjustment to the child’s home, school, and community;

e) the willingness and ability of each parent to respect and appreciate the bond between the child and the other parent and to allow for a continuing relationship between the child and the other parent;

f) any evidence or allegation of spousal abuse;

g) any evidence or allegation of child abuse on this or any other child;

h) whether either parent is required to register as a sex offender;

i) whether a parent is residing with a person who is required to register as a sex offender;

j) whether a parent has been convicted of abuse of a child;

k) whether a parent is residing with a person who has been convicted of abuse of a child

Watch Your Behavior

Whether you are fighting to be the primary residential parent or for weekend visits with your children the evaluation process by the court will encompass all of your behavior.

In particular, expect your children’s mother to point out all negative behavior. If you behave as though the judge were standing next to you each time you interact with the children or their mother, you will certainly avoid the pitfalls that will reduce your custody chances.

In reviewing the following list of things not to do, keep in mind the fact that children are wonderful mimics. You should expect your children to tell their mother everything you tell them. Knowing this, you should be aware of things said to the children or around the children that relate to their mother.

Conversations As Evidence

You should also anticipate your children’s mother hiding a tape recorder on or near her person when you interact. Recorded telephone conversations are common during divorce proceedings. In such cases, words spoken out of anger and frustration quickly become the rope that hangs the speaker.

Technically, such recordings should not be permissible but some courts will hear them for the purpose of evaluating a parent’s intentions and mental state. Do not be caught on tape saying things you would not say with the judge present. It should go without saying that any e-mail or text message correspondence can be easily handed to the judge for review so fits within the same admonition. The admission of such written lapses in judgment is much easier since you clearly knew it was documented at the time.

This list is not exhaustive but includes some of the most common mistakes made by men during child custody battles.

Child Custody Laws:
Will I Get Custody?

  1. Alienation of Affection: Children thrive best in a two parent household whenever possible. If a parent makes it a habit to put down the other parent, the children feel torn and forced to choose one parent over the other.

    This is very frustrating and confusing for the children. Judges are quite familiar with the damage this behavior can cause and are extremely intolerant when this behavior occurs. The two most common forms of alienation of affection that get dads into trouble are: criticizing mom around the kids and keeping the children from mom in any way.

  2. Yell at wife and/or children: As covered above, assume all conversations are being recorded. When you yell at your wife or your children it often gives the appearance that you are being abusive or bullying them. Men are in a distinct position in this society where they are presumed to be dominating and more powerful then women (and of course children).

    That being the case, women are in a position to claim they are afraid of their husband or the father of their children. Whether their fear is authentic or not, the court takes such allegations very seriously. Do not give her any ammunition for the court. A tape recording of a telephone conversation or an in-person argument will appear to the court to demonstrate you losing control and possibly becoming dangerous.

    No matter how hard it becomes, fight the urge to yell at your wife or your children. If that becomes a general rule you will not need to worry about such behavior impeding you in court.

  3. common divorce mistakesHave a physical confrontation with wife and/or children: Making physical contact with another person in a harmful or offensive manner is a crime. Some states call that crime “battery” others refer to it as “assault”. Whatever the term, it is criminal. You cannot very well care for your children from jail. No matter how upset you become during these proceedings, you must not make physical contact with your wife or children when you are angry.

    If this is something that has occurred in the past, you need to acknowledge that you are susceptible to such behavior and leave the area when you become upset. It is much better to walk away from an argument then to be in a position where you have little or no time with your children or such time is supervised by a stranger.

    There are many women who are abusive toward their husbands. It is no less a crime for a woman to be physically abusive toward you or your children. If you feel such a situation is going to occur, you should attempt to leave the area. If you feel the children are in danger, you obviously would not leave them alone with her at that time.

    If she hits, pushes, punches, or otherwise makes contact with you in an offensive way while she is angry, you need to call the police. Such behavior should be reported. The police will treat her the same way they would have treated you and she will go to jail. Legislation related to domestic violence has increased over the last few years and law enforcement no longer treats it as a family dispute.

    Judges take these matters very seriously as well because physical violence between parents is very confusing and upsetting to children. Studies have shown that children who witness domestic violence from an early age suffer developmental challenges as well as life-long emotional problems.

  4. Move in with a significant other: Divorce is a difficult time for children. It is hard for them to grasp the idea that their parents’ love for each other can simply end. Things are even more difficult when it becomes clear that the love transferred to a person that is not the child’s mother. Courts are reluctant to expose children to such truths. Judges do not appreciate children being exposed to significant others while a divorce is proceeding.

    In addition, children are unlikely to be comfortable around the new woman and may refuse to stay overnight or even visit your home if she is there. That will certainly prevent you from having a healthy relationship with your children. Until the divorce is final-and even for a while after-do not expose the children to a new woman.

  5. Criticize mother to friends, family, case worker, or guardian ad litem: Keep in mind that your friends now are likely friends that were shared by both parties at one time. You should expect friends to still talk to both parties. Assume comments you make will get back to your wife.

    If a case worker or guardian ad litem is assigned to your case, be aware that they are looking intently for signs of alienation of affection. Do not let them see it coming from you. Focus on the good relationship you have with your children and how well you communicate. Do not waste time criticizing their mother. That is easily misinterpreted as alienation of affection.

    Caveat: if the children’s mother is involved in illegal drug use or otherwise engaging in behavior that is dangerous to the children, this should be brought to the attention of the case worker or guardian ad litem and closely investigated. Be certain you have some form of unbiased evidence before making such allegations or you again run into the problem of appearing to be trying to alienate the children from their mother.

  6. Fail to pay child support: If the court enters an order of support and you choose to ignore it that is considered contempt of court. If the judge makes a finding that you are in contempt, you may be fined or even jailed for such behavior.

    As a general rule, the judges feel that paying child support is more important then any other financial obligations. Failure to pay child support appears to the court as your lack of respect for the court and lack of concern for your children. Obviously it costs money to raise children.

    Child support amounts are set using several variables to determine what it will take for the child to continue to survive as the child had prior to the break up. You may hire an experienced mens divorce attorney to fight the support amounts ordered if you have good cause, but until the court orders otherwise, you are responsible for paying child support as ordered.

    If ordered to pay your wife directly, always do this by check and save the receipts from the bank showing these checks cleared. Your wife may later deny receiving cash payments.

  7. Prosecuting Child Support:
    Advice From A Former Prosecutor

  8. Damage property belonging to mom or her family: Property damage is often a sign of aggression that is building up in a person. Not only will the court make you pay to replace any damaged property, the court may also see you as a threat to your children due to such behavior.

  9. Deny telephone contact with mom when the children are with you: This relates back to the earlier topic on alienation of affection but may not always be as obvious. Even if you have limited time with a child such as a couple hours a week, you must allow that child to call mom when requested.

    In addition, if she calls to check on the child you need to be polite and allow her to talk to the child unless that would cause disruption or the child is sleeping. Keep in mind that such calls from mom must be reasonable. Children should feel free to communicate with either parent at any time.

    If your wife denies you contact with your children when you call, be sure to keep a journal of the dates and times so the court may address it if it becomes a problem. You should expect your wife is keeping a similar journal.

  10. Take kids out of the area without warning mom in advance: If you have a family vacation or reunion planned outside the metropolitan area in which you live, be sure that you have notified their mother before you take the children. Many parents reach agreement about vacation times with the children so that each parent has an opportunity to spend a week or two out of town with the kids.

    If you leave the area without notifying your wife, it may appear you are attempting to kidnap the children. That could result in her obtaining emergency orders restricting or terminating your parenting time or custody. If at all possible, try to notify her in writing two weeks in advance so there will be no confusion when the time comes.

  11. Remove children from school or daycare without notice to mom: Temporary orders will usually designate parenting time but rarely includes the time when the child is at school or in daycare. If the school allows you to visit the children over lunch or other times you should freely do so as long as it is not a distraction. You should never remove the children from school or daycare if you are not the primary custodian.

    Even if you are the primary custodian, the children should remain in school or daycare unless you have a good reason to remove them. Expect your wife to bring the judge a printout from the school that will show tardies and absences while the children are in your care. If you are not primary custodian, removal from school or daycare may appear that you are kidnapping the children and could result in serious restriction or full termination of your parenting time.

There are no guaranteed ways to win a child custody battle but avoiding the above mistakes can at least keep you in the battle.

Comments (57)Add Comment
written by Jon Schmal , March 21, 2012
During my divorce I have accused of everything under the sun and have not retaliated. The result is that I have limited custody. Your advice is probably right in an unjust society that consistently looks for people who will take it in favor or those who will not. It is sad that all the advice here is essentially -- Dad's if you want to see your kids turn your other cheek so that you can get slapped around some more. What is needed is a political fight that puts an end to the big business of divorce and marriage. Removing money from the system will result in equality. Band together men and replace the political leaders who support the unjust system of enslaving one person to benefit another.
written by Just me, March 21, 2012
I am a woman and I agree that men have to suck it up overall and still get scrutinized in the end. I have watched my husband get the blame for EVERYTHING even things he has not had any involvement in regarding his two kids. On top of that there is a paper trail a mile long showing that the mother is an unfit mother and yet the courts keep catering to her and now there is a huge mess for my husband and I to clean up. It is frustrating to see how the courts like to blame the dads for everything when it takes two to make the kids and TWO parents to take care of them in every aspect...mentally, emotionally, physically and last and certainly not least FINANCIALLY!!! Yet again I feel the courts love to enable so many mothers to use her kids as a financial asset to getting ahead in life, trust me I have watched it first hand over the years, it is sickening and ultimately destructive not only to the kids' future but any other family or kids involved. I feel the courts need to wake up and see that the old sterotype of dead beat dads have shifted more to the reality of money grubbing mothers!!!
Courts Need to Wake Up!
written by Frustrated 2nd Wife!, March 22, 2012
I couldn't agree more with the 2 previous comments. My husband's ex will stop at nothing to disparage him to anyone who will listen - his family, the children, friends and not least of all the courts. GREED is her middle name as she hauls him in to court to pay for the decisions she unilaterally makes even when he disagrees such as high end private schools, trips abroad, high end computers and more. Why have a court ordered agreement that stipulates that the parents need to make joint decisions about the children, their education, health care etc. when she can do whatever she wants and my husband is on the hook financially. We are not wealthy by any stretch and the court, although they say they don't take into account my income, they absolutely do! They have said that my husband has "access to other resources since he has a spouse who works". So, basically they are saying that I can pay and just repackaging it a different way. Whoever is responsible for creating these laws and the views that the courts have was deranged! On top of all that one of the kids who is a teenager, hates my husband, sends him horrible emails and texts calling him names, swearing at him etc., and he can do nothing except continue to write checks! This must be what insanity really is.
written by Frustrated Father, March 25, 2012
Here we are again. I am sick and tired of blaming men. This attitude of men bashing is not healthy and certainly not in the best interest of children. You are treating non-custodian male parent as a criminal. I thought your website is there to help dads connecting with their children. Let me tell you something, It’s truly unbelievable in a country like Canada, you can be separated from your children, alienated by the children’s mother and then she gets finance to fight you for years through the courts. What kind of sick, cruel legal system would allow this to happen?
I believe the answer is always is money! Family lawyers intentionally inflame situations and then you have the judges who have the power, but lack the common sense and guts to stop these evil parents and letting the dads see their own children in an equal and just way.
There is a movement in Canada that is growing increasingly frustrated and impatient and is starting to take matters into their own hands, to stop this cruel, state-sanctioned child abuse happening to our innocent children.
Parental alienation is acknowledged and punished in other countries, so why can’t we act now and stamp it out here? It is time to stand up and make family laws fairer to stop child abuse being carried out and to promote shared parenting in the family courts so broken families can start to be repaired for the good of our communities.
Protecting mother's, Low-rated comment [Show]
written by twinkie, April 29, 2012
my mom is in a custody battle with her ex and he and his mother wont agree unless they get all the holodays and cristmas and her birthday so that leaves mum with school days and no holoday time with her can someone call me to give me advice to help mum with this court situation

mobile: 0477460050
so wrong
written by why is this happening, May 12, 2012
what if you're the mom and you wanted, and expected, it to be fair and as simple as possible, but then you get your husbands response and it's one horrific lie after another? i'm completely blindsided by what he claimed i did in those papers. he said i'm violent, a drunk, i only buy beer and junkfood instead of food for the family, that i put an ad out so i could fulfill my fantasy of being in a threesome with two men, and that baby isn't safe with me and he thinks i'll hurt him. there has NEVER been any violence in our home, i don't think i've ever raised my voice. i'm not a drinker, i put my husband and baby's needs before my own, and i'm not some sex freak! he has a lawyer, i don't and can't afford one. i'm terrified and just sick. that baby is everything to me and i can't be without him. why would he do this?
The family court system is shockingly biased.
written by John, February 07, 2013
I have been through what can only be explained as a custody war over my daughter for the better part of two years. In my experience with the court system in NY there is no equality of any manor. A mother must be proved unfit before the court even takes into consideration the possibility of awarding a father more than visitation, while a father has to prove that he is fit. It is essentially being assumed guilty until proving innocent. In pre-trial the ex's lawyer brought up a single incident of my 3 1/2 year old daughter missing a day of school and my daughter's appointed lawyer and the court mediator both said "if Ciara is going to miss school while at her father's then she should not be staying with him". My lawyer pointed out that my ex had failed to send my daughter to school a total of 13 times at least six due to missing the bus and sleeping in, both my daughters lawyer and the mediator then replied "due to the age of Ciara her attendence is not a concern of this court"
I feel like the dad
written by Jen , February 20, 2013
I am reading this because I am being accused and he is going for full custody. He even tried to put a restraining order on me with no proof!! He is fighting for EVERYTHING! Including the debt! Go figure he cheated and I was the stay at home! Now he's the woman and I went and found me a woman after 15 years of marriage. He gives men a bad name. AND....he was a good man till I said it was over. So confused? Wish me luck, I only wanted our children to have 2 full time parents half the time. They deserve that!
GA courts favor the dad
written by Linn Dreisbach, February 26, 2013
I am the woman left for the other woman, who moves in on her ex and her children. I was a stay at home mom for !% years and married 27. I walked away with no furniture, no appliances no cars, no houses and we owned 2, and had to declare bankruptcy and lost my job from being in court for all the times my ex filed motions. Then after he has made me penniless and in poverty as he makes over $250,000, and refused to give me alimony over a false claim of infidelity as he was the biggest cheater around, and abusive to me and our kids.....yet because he held all the MONEY in the divorce, and was FINANCIALLY ADVANTAGED, stay at home moms basically have no chance at all. And for any woman to make comments about the originally wife being a money grubber as they go off into the sunset on a cruise, and I stand in the food stamp line..I can only assume you my dear are the money grubber, not the ex wife. I just want what my ex should have given me in the first place. So don't presume to know how us left for dead ex wives feel...hopefully this will happen to you and you will eat your words. Ga is the good old boy system with nepitism and lawlessness abounding. If you don't want to get screwed in a divorce, ladies do not move down to GA. You will be at everyones mercy and your family will be taken away and given to an abusive cheating man as you scrape by off your elderly parents to support you and your children as your ex is off with his GF on a cruise laughing about how they screwed you over...
Need advice
written by Mom with Autistic son, March 12, 2013
My son who is now 16 years old has a numerous amount of mental disorders.. His father is suing me for full custody, so He does not have to pay back child support.. He never has wanted him before the courts of Texas stepped in and said pay your debt.. he is behind 10 years in support.. and my son, is well loved taken care of, and is in a treatment place for kids like him, in our state. the father is not being fair, all he wants is for the tables to be turned.. He wants out 16 year old, while our 19 year old begs him for help all the time, and he refuses to help her... it's not all about the money in some cases.. but when you don't even try, and then you want the kid i think its a crock..
Dads are not Dads till the courts say so no matter what where you live.
written by A Dad From the UK, March 20, 2013
I was looking for a site in the uk it seems that the situation in Canada is very similar to that in the uk. I have a daughter that is now an adult herself and doing very well. I tried the approach of always being nice to her mother and not engaging in tit for tat slander to the courts. She told the court every thing she could dream up to disgrace and slander (most of witch was untrue) me and as a result I found myself being told by a court that i was unfit to be a farther and shouldn't see my daughter. I appealed the courts decision and after a 6year court battle was apologized to by a high judge. This cost me my home and my business as i had to sell both to pay the solicitors bill. Now 15 years later find myself in a similar position once again. I have two younger children to a different mother whom turn into a alcoholic and became violent towards me. I would leave the house by order of the police and return when she was sober but the incidents became more and more frequent and in order to protect the children I left the family home. Within months she sold the house and spent the money on drink. (sorry just had to talk to someone there is a lot more to my story it just seems so unfair to the kids and the dads. It stinks that dads are not dads till the courts say so)
A mom who children father is abusive and his new girlfriend is making threats of violence and he is violating his 4year restaining order
written by needs advice, March 27, 2013
I am currently going through an custody battle nw with my children father when he is not even consistenly or at all paying any type of child support to any of his kid. All he seems to do is impregrant different and all females. Now that he came across an new young dumb female thats going to settle for his hot mess causes im not putting up with it.We return back to court in may for possiablity of some kind of vistation. But in regard to the non sense I will be bringing to court any and all neccsary documentations in regards to his court order becasue he is unfit dangerous,vicous, agrumentative, and commiting acts of violence. He told his new girlfriend where I stay and they both are committing acts of violence. Now the gal is involved, he doesnt have now where to stay and he is deranged. I am fighting tooth and nail for my 2 children small children to not be exposed to that unhealthy type of atmosphere. In return to the nonsense he is a drug user, who refuses to get an job and not paying child support but now you wants the kids. Impossiable.I dont want to expose my children to his new girlfriend because she is just as violent. I been stabbed before about 5 years old. During an simarliar situation but the only difference where different people was involved. He is trying to fight for full custody that means like 5 days out the week and including every weekend. Yeah right I dont see for this crap to happen when i am the bread winner and im holding down this forth by myself. He is jobless, homeless, mindless,dramaful, and also a person who doesnt respect any kind of judisdiction system.Since the birth of both of my kids he wanted me to abort both pregancies, because he didnt want to man up and take care of his kids.But now since they are here he still havent grown up by the age of 33. He thinks by selling dvds and cds that will be his career for life and so that he can send his kids off to college one day when they get of age. He is refusing all kinds of courts orders to pay child support he not in complaince with nothing. I need some help with this manic.
A mom who children father is abusive and his new girlfriend is making threats of violence and he is violating his 4year restaining order
written by need advice, March 27, 2013
I am currently going through an custody battle now with my children father when he is not even consistently or at all paying any type of child support to any of his kid. All he seems to do is spread his seeds to different and all females and have babies with them. Now that he came across an new young dumb female thats going to settle for his hot mess causes i am not putting up with it.We return back to court in may for possibly of some kind of visits But in regard to the non sense I will be bringing to court any and all of the documentations in regards to his court order because he is unfit, dangerous,and mental unstable, and committing acts of violence. He told his new girlfriend where I stay and they both are committing acts of violence. Now the gal is involved, he do not have now where to stay and he is deranged. I am fighting tooth and nail for my 2 children small children to not be exposed to that unhealthy type of atmosphere. In return to the nonsense he is a drug user, who refuses to get an job and not paying child support but now you wants the kids. Impossible.I do not want to expose my children to his new girlfriend because she is just as violent. I been stabbed before about 5 years old. During an same situation but the only difference where different people was involved. He is trying to fight for full custody that means like 5 days out the week and including every weekend. Yeah right I do not see for this crap to happen when i am the bread winner and im holding down this forth by myself. He is jobless, homeless, mindless,drama of a person and also a person who does not respect an court system.Since the birth of both of my kids he wanted me to abort both of my children because he did not want to man up and take care of his kids.But now since they are here he still have not grown up by the age of 33. He thinks by selling dvds and cds that will be his career for life and so that he can send his kids off to college one day when they get of age. He is refusing all kinds of courts orders to pay child support he not in comply with nothing. I need some help with this manic.
written by michelle, May 11, 2013
I agree with Linn..... it just takes money....... as long as the expensive attorney can make one side sound like an angel.... it doesn't matter what is in the best interest of the child.... he with the most money wins. Even DFACS doesn't protect the children who truly need it, at least not in the county of georgia where I live.
drunk dads???
written by bubby, May 14, 2013
So what if the dad wants primary custody, yet hasn't offered to help pay for diapers or food? Has drove drunk. With the child" drank a six pack while watching the child, and admitted to not being able to wake up when the child starts crying in the middle of the night. Should that man be allowed primary custody? More so the mom is willing to let the child's Dad see the child every other weekend so long as he brings her home before the child's bed/bath time to insure the child's schedule is not disrupted. Not every dad out there is like this but come on isn't that something to take into consideration?
Who wins in custody wars? It is always, who has more money!
written by Patricia Wright, May 25, 2013
Get ready for a story, most of you will think is a lie. I was the stay home mom for 10 yrs. In an awful marriage! Where there was no victims, or villans,
we both were hateful to one another. I do believe that most bad marriages, are due to both people, & the only true victims are the kids, until the courts are involved. The courts most always side unfairly with one parent, just because they are siding with one parent, means they are NO longer unbasis, which means they are no longer fair! That would bring me to the horrified exsinctence, of my life now! I have not seen my two daughters in 10 years now! My ex-husband & his forth wife, adopted my girls 6 years ago! I reside in Boulder, Colo. I was not notifed, my ex-husband had been arrested twice for betting me up, & his wife did not reside one day in Colo.!
Now you are thinking, I must be so horriable, or this could never have happened. I did have many things wrong with me, & still do. But, the worist thing I did to my children is I would yale at them. To which, after I would yale at them I always appologized to them, & would tell them it was becauce of my illness that I yelled not because of them. I was hit by a drunk driver when I was 19 yrs. old! The man that hit, & killed my mother, & put me in the hospital for 3 months, died on the scene with 9 D.U.I's, & no insurance! I have tramic brain injury to the frontal lobe area of my head. Which controlls excutive functioning, & emotions! I have since that time been a fraigle persons who needs a lot of things to be a well adjusted person. Some examples: I need 10 hours of sleep a night, I need regular exercise, & I can't be yelled at, or rushed, without expressing myself in an angery way.
I would assume you all know what happiens when you are married with two small children ONE YEAR APART. You stop taking care of your self. With me, then my symtoms get much worse, & then your marriage gets bad.
Well, this entire story is too long to tell here. I just want to warn people how bad custody wars can get. So, try to avoid them, anyway posiable. Also,you should remember, attorneys can be very dishonest, judges are 'paid-off', in this country, & your exspouces can be the person that wants to distroy your life, even if it hurts the kids. My husband is a very successful aeorspace engener, who can compartmentlize things he does as nesscarry, so he has no guilt. I kept thinking things could'nt happen because he once loved me!
It's not always who has more money!!
written by Jackie, June 15, 2013
WOw, it's websites like these and comments that disgust me. I completely understand that there are good fathers out there, and bad mothers, and even good fathers and mothers that actually work out 50/50 custody. But don't try to blame all women as crazy liars. My ex cheated on me with 5 different women. I had enough, and broke up with him. He moved in with her, and I tried to work out a visitation schedule with him outside of court. Did he appreciate this? NO. He kept harassing me, kept texting me sexual remarks, to have sex with him, that if I don't he would beat the crap out of me all over my apartment. He even did these threats in person, while my son was present. I don't have money. But really, is it healthy for a woman, let alone a child, to witness these acts? So I moved somewhere safer, and started everything in court. I had evidence of all the times the cops were called, of all the abusive text messages, evidence of everything. Even witnesses of how he treated our son as leverage to get me to obey him. No more. No money, I won full custody. With evidence. SImple as that. No lying, no crazy homormal tactics in court, nothing. He was the one that even made himself look worse, mentioned he did weed while taking care of our son, and that he wants custody because he can't afford child support. Yes I look down upon anyone that lies just to get custody, it's really the children's well being that matters, and if both parents can work it out then that's great. But don't assume that all women are crazy, especially the many "new girlfriends" that like to bash on people like me when their man doesn't even bother telling them the truth.
My fiance's custody battle
written by Susanne, July 18, 2013
My fiance is still legally married. They've Ben separated for several years and now is financially able to pay go a lawyer to start the divorce and custody battle. She's six years old. And there is so much that can incriminate his soon to be ex wife and prove that she is an unfit mother. I dare not go into details. He went against his lawyer's advice I. not letting her get their daughter back unil all was settled. After a month, he goes and talks with her and they try to settle it. After the girl gets sick then gets diarrhea and we end up sending her to her mom, meeting her mother's parents in the closest town. And she was never told about the rash coming from going to bathroom so much. She was upset about that among a few other things, and that she had live still even though she got it when she was still with her mom a month and half ago. Then she also twisted and lied about something I said and now she won't let him see his daughter. Now we have to figure out what we can do to get her back. One time his daughter came back in the same clothes and never had a bath when her mom had extra clothes and it was obvious that she needed one. She went to a sleep over and I had no chance in making sure she was clean before she went to see her mom.
Custody and parental alienation of affection question
written by Brad, August 06, 2013
It just recently came to my attention, a weekend dad, that my 7 year old daughter's mother and her fiancé have been arrested for trafficking synthetic marijuana to the tune of 170lbs confiscated. They posted bail and the mom was arrested again for the same offense. Both arrest records show over 13 firearms confiscated along with $3900 in cash and an unknown white substance. While out again on bail, (Great Lawyer?), she was arrested for smuggling contraband into court for a good friend on trial for murder, charges dismissed, (Again, Great Lawyer?). Turns out that her fiancé drove the man sentenced to 24 years for this murder to the scene to sell $8,000 of real marijuana, the deal went bad and he shot and killed his victim. The fiancé then picked the murderer/drug dealer up and harbored him in my child's home until he was arrested at my child's home. My child's mother's brother, also a flagrant in on the trafficking was arrested at her home. My child told Child Protective Services that her mother and mother's fiancé had her putting stickers on the synthetic marijuana packages after mother stuffed the bags on multiple occasions. CPS granted me an Emergency Custody Order and three days later it was overturned by the judge during the hearing. I then filed for an Ex Parte Emergency Custody Order in the county where I live, where all original jurisdiction for custody is, and it was granted. The hearings on August 30th. Mom lied to my daughter about all of this stuff, even though people have been arrested in front of her, she labeled this stuff and had to stay with her grandma while mom was in jail, (Cops never told me about it to come get her.). So when my child kept asking why she wasn't going home, and why she was enrolled in school with me and why mom hasn't been aloud to call here, and why she was going to be living with me, should I have told her the truth and showed her the police records, news headlines and mug shots while telling her that her mommy is still a good person, just confused and didn't know what to do so she lied about all of this and wouldn't have done it if she knew she would have to give her daughter up to me? Or should I have been the liar and cover for her and make my daughter feel like I just was stealing her away from mommy and being mean? My child is smart as a whip. She knew something was up. My wife and our neighbor , a 20 year veteran 2nd-3rd grade teacher told me I needed to tell her to help her understand the truth. We never speak ill of mom and never have. This has been the only time we have ever shown my daughter anything bad about her mom. Also, do you think the judge is going to grant permanency to the sole custody order under all these grounds if my child is already 3 weeks into her school year here if mom was changing schools anyway? Thanks.
written by Someone who knows, August 08, 2013
If they don't award you full custody, I lose all faith in the legal system. Good luck!
My Ex Is A Psycho Borderline With an UNTREATED Suicide Attempt Behind Her, and I'M Getting Hauled Into Court for Contempt Even Though She Hasn't Paid Support In Almost A Year.
written by Frank Farmer, August 10, 2013
I understand completely why Dads take their kids and flee the jurisdiction if they are financially able. I won EVERYTHING at our divorce mediation because she cheated and left the house, leaving me with our 8 year old son, and now SHE is taking ME to court for contempt despite her not paying her share of his medical bills for the past two years. The colossal BALLS on this woman are astounding! She has done everything possible to alienate her own son from her affections - I have done nothing but told him over and over again, "Your mother is a good person, and you need to give her a second chance." He can't stand her because she is rude and cruel to me, and I am the person he most loves in the world - THAT is why my son hates his mother - because she treats the person he loves most in the world like a punk! I don't tell him about it - he lives with me, and he sees it for himself with his own two eyes!!!
custody battles and jealousy
written by sheryl, August 14, 2013
I am hearing from all these comments lots of jealousy and entitlement. men, if you were a good father and spent time with your children and did your share of domestic duties then you should be entitled to equal time with your children as the mother, providing you are not violent. however, if you were an absentee father (and working fulltime is no excuse) and had little to do with the kids and the mother did all the things with the kids such as activities, school, drs. play dates, etc. then count on being an every other weekend father. Mothers, if your husband was a good man and treated his children well and parented them well and was there for them, even though he may have done you wrong, he still hasn't done his children wrong. there are extinuating circumstances with every case and i guess that is why cases are all treated differently which involves lawyers and judges. but parents should have equal custody if they both equally contributed equally to the children's upbringing. Especially if both parents work fulltime to provide. Incomes are not always fair and should be adjusted accordingly as far as support is concerned.
Who knows better
written by Anonymous, October 02, 2013
So, this sounds unreal. The mother left the father. No ill feelings, besides the mother has admitted she was bored with father of their 2 children. He has been paying a substantial amount of child support (roughly 80% to her 20%). The father of children traveled many distances to see children although they lived 4+ hours away, then he was relocated to be only 2+ hours away. Regardless of the distance the mother still complained about him wanting to spend time with the children. ONe minute she states she don't want him to contact them, then the next she is like he dont' contact them. Basically, damn if he do damn if he doesn't. Regardless he has been always trying to create and ensure a relationship with his children. Father is not trying to get physical custody of his children. Oh, he is remarried also. Mother now request sole custody because she thinks a financial fight vs best interest of the children. Her fail is all of the social post of her partying and emails of how she doesn't want to parent with him. There are just some bizarre situations out here. Fathers who want to be an active participant in their children lives, but the woman are bitter for no reason and don't see the benefit of their dads being in their lives. We need more men to stand up about the issue. Because girlfriends/ new spouses we can't do anything about it besides vent about what we see is going on with the legal system allowing these woman to consistently get over. It's sad how much money drives the placement of children when parents can't see past their own selfish ways. Hope that he gets physical custody or more visitation. He already has an extensive amount of visitation, but the custodial (mother)doesn't allow for it on many occasions.
written by Mandy, October 19, 2013
okay I am the woman in this case....Just asking all you, do the courts not take evidence into consideration for the best interest in the children? I have ton of evidence however since i'm not a lawyer, nor have money for one I can't abtain them documents. I agree children need 2 parents to live since it took 2 people to make them. However depending on the status of the parents with proof I agree the parents should have equally rights and responsiblitiy to the children.
Best interest of the children??
written by swampthing910510, November 07, 2013
Divorce, custody, support, and visitation are NOT Court motions/actions that consider "the best interest of the children". The terms "Law Guardian" and "child support" are perverse concepts in the Court System that are NOT looking out for "the best interest of the children".
If you file for divorce, you are NOT looking out for "the best interest of the children". You are looking out for YOURSELF, just like Judges and attorneys are looking out for themselves.
Be careful, Ladies. My wife filed for divorce earlier this year and so far it hasn't cost me a dime!! She borrowed against her ENITRE 401K and she is barely getting by now. She thinks she holding all the cards with her having the kids and by placing an order of protection against me. Now the "law guardian" is making HER pay most of the costs associated with my "supervised visitation". I don't make 1/3 of what she makes and now I'm telling the Judge when I want to come back to Court and she is paying twice as much in RENT as my mortgage!!
Maybe I don't get to see the kids when I want but I'll be damned if I give her ANYTHING (alimony/child support) and not see my children whenever I want!! I think I'll let HER have fun with HER lawyer and now the "law guardian" holding HER AND THE KIDS HOSTAGE IN SUPREME COURT while I sit back in bankruptcy and foreclosure.
See you in late February of next year, or whenever I feel like coming back to Court again, HONEY!! I don't need this aggravation. IT'S NOT MY DIIVORCE!!
Oh and Guys if you are reading this and think I'm being spiteful, I'm really not. IT'S MY MARRIAGE AND I REFUSE TO LET THE PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF NEW YORK TAKE MY FAMILY AWAY FROM ME!!
Status after status, strike court dates?
written by A very frustrated mother, February 17, 2014
I am a mother of young boy who's father I did not marry. We tried to co parent in separate homes for a long time. I had my son 4 days, he had him 3. No child support was ever paid to him or myself. It actually worked for the first couple years, but once I saw my son's grades become less than average, and him struggling to read and comprehend, math tests came back with 50% F's. My son begged for help at the school as did I. Finally, I decided we needed to change schools. We moved 30 minutes away and my son was diagnosed with ADHD. I served his dad with custody papers, since we were never married, there was nothing ever in the courts who was custodial parent. We've been in court now since June 2013. Dad has a cash job, went to tour with a band for 3 months from July to the end of November, lives with his mom. The court made us go through mediation which completely failed because he wants residental custody. But in the last 6 months, he's hardly ever had our son over night, seen him maybe a total of 10 times. His attorney filed a motion to withdrawl due to lack of cooperation. Still, every month there is a status hearing. He was ordered in Nov to pay temporary child support of $101 per week, which I have not seen one dime of to date. The courts have on record he doesn't file a tax return. Why does it take so long to deem one parent at least residential custody?? I have paid my attorney, and a guardian ad litem, and feel like this case will never end. I'm not asking for much. I just need a little help from him. My son finally has friends at school, he had a huge project due for science which he had to present...his teacher said he "rocked" it. A+. I couldn't be more proud of what he's accomplished. I just feel like I'm going to go broke over this, which is exactly what my ex said he intended on doing...putting me into poverty. It's not always the women causing the problems guys. I agree, there are some money hungry women out there who take their children's fathers for all they have. But then there are women like me. I just need a little help from him is all I ask, and for him to follow through when he says he's going to see his son.
take the case into another state...
written by for those that discussing it wont take you anywhere.., March 24, 2014
take away divorce cases to another state if possible.
Specially for those in uniform. These should immediately be at fault cases
by the more strict rule or simply by the conflict of interest
between the military couple.
This state is a be aware state, on most of everything.
written by John , April 24, 2014
During my divorce the thing that stressed me out the most was the constant stress of not knowing if i was going to keep my children or not. Thanks to the wonderful firm of Rosenberg and Rodriguez, i was able to keep my children. I couldn't be any happier with my results, so that is why i recommend you to contact them through so they can help you as they did to me.
Umm... Single Mom...
written by Amanda, April 26, 2014
So what I'm seeing here is alot of people not fessing up to their lawyers... I fully avoid attacking my ex in anyway, but a week ago I asked him, I'm recently haveing some medical issues, to take my daughter so I could go to the doctors, mind you it's a saturday and he retorts with as long as I don't have to take her the weekend after. My response a simple question, is the trip personal? if so I don't think you should be using time with her as a barganing chip I want you spending more time with her. He wanted custody to be 50/50 we alternate weeks, he doesn't have a sitter and refuses to go to day cares with me (we have conflicting schedules I work from 4pm to 2am at the latest and he works 7am to 5pm) But the he says "lawyer up" I want at all costs to avoid court because I want him to have time with her and I know how unfair the court system can sometimes be, but what worries me is me haveing Tuesdays and Wednesdays off is somewhere down the line they will give him every weekend when she's in school that leaves just the school days where she's two tired or to cranky to spend any real quality time with me. I love my daughter alot granted I am 2years from really having to worry about it, but I know the court won't do a 50/50 thing like that it's not stable enough even to me and I refuse 6months a year she be mine and 6 months a year she'll be his I raise her complete alone went through my pregnancy alone but I've done good I think at not holding it against him
tired of living in fear
written by kaden, May 04, 2014
Two years ago my daughter fell asleep at her grand parents house. My ex said he had something to do and left to his parents house and had me served with papers for custody.. the police would not do anything to help me although i am her mother. I believe my ex father paid the police officer off. My exs parent are co owners to a very prominent construction company and they are well known in our community. Alot of people fear them. At this point i realized that the judicial system here in fl stinks. My ex is transgender and the therapist they sopened said there were no studies done on transgender ed people raising small children. Yes i knew he was a she before i was completely in love with her and contributed to her transition. When we had our daughter i did see signs of jealousy when i breast fed or our daughter reached for me i figured with counseling we could work through it. She lives with her parents and we were given shared visitation. Her parents do not agree with her transitioning and accused me of enabling her to be a woman. Well after 2 years we have a court trial i found out three weeks before and my lawyer recently quit my case because there lawyer never allows us the time to state our case. I had a horrible year last year because of the stress i almost died twice. I do suffer from bipolar so my post pardum stunk. I was anemic very badly after i had my daughterand i have had no time to truly greive over this whole situation. I feel victimnized and scared. So much wasted money and time that this person has taken from me. Now my daughter is calling him mommy. What a slap in the face.
written by cindy smith, May 15, 2014
And I read it as gender neutral... to bad the writer used gender specific terms. I don't believe is was meant that way.

I am a divorcing woman, married for 27 years and my husband never paid one mortgage payment nor has he provided any support (other than turning off all utilities when I had to file a restraining order...)for our two children living with me. He purchases sex and I am shocked that so many of you are choosing sides. I am sorry you have been hurt to that degree. All we can do is be the bigger person. Beer helps too!
Abused Dad
written by Colin F, June 14, 2014
I have been with my ex partner for just over 5 years, in that time I probably had and experienced a lot of great things, travelling and just learning to love her. I had 2 young boys from a previous marriage which broke down due to financial strain and that I caught her having an affair. I told my ex everything as I'm an open book. However, during our rship things would prop up, that I was checking up on ex wife, still loved her.etc then she would lash out, argument after argument then she would apologise. I never hit her at anytime, 3yrs in with a wedding planned we had a terrible separation where she scarred my face, repeatedly punched, scratched me to point I moved out, she said I cldnt let her live etc, I thought she would have an affair...which I found strange, as she was out a lot and she said to me about giving up football, I never saw my pals and basically hardly saw family. But after moving out, I went and cleared my head,done well at work got a new flat for me and my sons, then I ended up working in my exs area so i had text about a catching a coffee, I still loved her and I knew I wanted her in my life... She refused numerous times until one day she text about mail I got and we ended up going for a meal and then dated regularly so much that, we were together again, I was so happy, things going well, boys were happy she was there, but there was the odd occasion where shed shout argue about stupid stuff, I told her everything would be fine I gave her engagement ring back and told her I loved her and we would get married. Building on this, she found out she was pregnant, she talked about her sister and her husband trying for a baby, I always assumed that we weren't trying but I wouldn't change it, but she still was arguing a lot fighting, stressing over silly things, it was hard, we had a little girl in august 2013,but by she was 3/4weeks old my ex was saying I was treating her different from the boys, that is never see her again, but then apologised then there were great times then the bad where between Christmas she repeatedly beat me, then again in January, even on Valentine's day she did, saying I didn't live her, treat her right or anything. By this time we had moved in together to a new home, I paid my way every month but still she was unhappy. It was affecting my work, I had to tell my manager what was going on,I ended up with a new job a lot more money, everything done in house, our little girl was growing great the boys were happy but again no, because I opted to tile the bathroom and go get shopping in rather than go to a communion, the boys got verbally abused, as did I, our little girl got a smack in the hand and then the next day while she was sleeping after I dropped boys at school I got a beating again so much that I had a minor concussion, I thought that this person was going to be my future and everything ok, but I cldnt take it anymore, eggshells fighting, arguing, violence, it's not me so after that attack I left to seek advice from police etc, but because I didn't have time off and the usual with DV that I'd end up in jail despite not ever lifting a finger...I was advised to get legal advice, I had to wait a week or 2, in that time I text her uncle, brother in law and best friend just what happened. The next day I get in from work, I get a lawyers letter stating separation, to move my things out, my limited access time with my little girl and that I have to pay her maintenance...all before I could speak to a single soul professionally.
written by Alexis, June 23, 2014
Okay I have a question I have been in the process of moving and my daughter will be two in November he father was not involved during the pregnancy and would not have been involved at the day of birth had it not been for my mom well he was gone and never asked about her til she was 5 1/2 months old then seen her 16 days during a 3 month spans then was gone again for six months I don't wanna a male in and out of my child's life well now he is trying to take me to court over my daughter all that has been done is DNA we have no court date yet or anything would I still be able to move state
Communication and Abusive Behavior
written by Marcy, July 11, 2014
I have been compliant to send my child to visit his father from across the country. His father pays for the flights of course but he is verbally abusive to me when I question anything. I don't know how to deal with his abusive behavior other than to limit all calls or conversations with him. He assaulted me during our last exchange when I drove to meet him over 900 miles. I am tired and I can't afford to pay for an attorney to stop him from doing this. I don't curse him or call unless it is about our son. My husband has even addressed the assault after I called him. He apologized to him but never to me. For almost 20 years, we've been a part of each others life but when he changes gf's he becomes aggressive and abusive to me. What should I do
written by Hidden Care, July 25, 2014
I am going through a divorce right now in Florida. My wife is a avoidant parent. She left for another man , party, and to be with her friends. (documented) She has not cared much for our 5 year old daughter, since she has left and four months later when I have her served, she all the sudden wants to have our daughter 50/50. I did try and work this out with her with a marriage counselor, but she lied to him as well and he no longer wanted to see us. She refused to take that seriously for our daughters sake. I have it documented that she is depressed with other medical issues, lives in an area that is not allowed, she is around old friends that do drugs, dating a guy that does drugs, and does not watch our daughter very well when she is with her. She is good at taking pictures to appear she is taking care of her and that she is a great mother, but the PI I hired shows otherwise. I am trying to retain majority custody, since I am the one who takes her to school, doctor appts, zoos, beach, pool, and play dates with her friends. She has yet to do any of this. I also have it documented that she did not seek medical treatment for our daughter when she was ill for almost a full day after our daughter told her she was not feeling well. Do I have enough to fight this out? I am ready to drain my retirement funds to protect my daughter. Please help.
the ex wife
written by sara house, August 04, 2014
My husband has joint custody of his two boys and their mother has custodial but they have lived here with him and went to school here before and after the divorce e! Yet he's still having to give her child support for two kids that don't live with her and don't want to see her the older one refuses to visit her and so she waited til 3 days before school starts to pull them out of the schools they've been on all their lives and enroll them in schools 45 mins away.we already have a lawyer and filed for full custody but it's been 13 days and she still hasn't been served the papers! And when the younger son went to visit she's kept him And is refusing to let him see us. So I feel what you all are saying about blaming g men for it all. He's only missed 2 payments in five years! And yet she's dwelling on that to whoever will listen
Alienation goes both ways
written by Broken hearted, August 07, 2014
I know it seems to men that the system fails THEM. There are many moms like myself suffering at the hands of narcissistic ex-husbands who have alienated their sons like my 16 yr old. On top of that, my ex has brothers on the police force and is married to an attorney. He works as a school security guard so doesn't make much money. When my son lived with me, he was constantly in arrears with child support. Reduced his income attempting to pay less. He didn't need the money, his wife pays their bills. Constantly in violation of this and other court orders but no one does anything about it for last 6 years. A spouse gets a pass because they aren't the ex but what about when they are an officer of the court knowingly violating orders? Why have orders?
depends on all the facts
written by notonaneedtoknowbasis, August 11, 2014
depends on what facts are brought to the table...
mother of nineteen that owns a house bought new car makes 20+ dollars and hour full blown health insurance and my boy has his own room toys upon toys and every inch of emotional stability possible...kicked out at 18 mind you.......

now the father...only been employed for one year full-time..was unemployed while i was pregnant and going through highschool...has no reliable vehicle lives with his parents..doesnt afford any kind of insurance..and is 21.. compare and tell me who should take care of my son..
oh and cant forget he has 2 harrassment charges bc im pathetic..worthless..and a whore..

i will agree good dads get the short end of the stick alot but theres also alot of bad men in this world that dont deserve their son willl not grow up to see someone live off their parents and see he doesnt support my child..he wont hear the horrific things he says about his mother and he will not think its ok to disrespect and degrade family the way he does point blank.
I need some help...
written by Narbonne30, August 31, 2014
So I have taken my daughters mother to court for custody because she does not let me see her. She is using my daughter to get revenge on me for us not working out. Next week on 09/03/14 is my daughters birthday so yesterday 08/30/14 I tried to go see my daughter. It turns out that she was not home, her brother claimed she was on tecate mexico with her parent. So i text her amd told her if she didt tell me where my daughter was i would call the police... later that night i passed by her house and notices her parents truck was already in the drive way. I went this morming to see my daughter and once again she wasnt home. Her dad claimed that when he got back home the night before she wasnt there and didnt know where she was. I believe she went to rosarito in baja california but she is not suppose to leave the state because we have an open case. Also she did not bring this up to me and I am not even sure she is there... do I have the right to call the police on her? Or what right do I have? And who am I suppose to contact in order to report anything?
The book of Job
written by Gramma, September 06, 2014
My daughter is the unfortunate one to have married a man just before he went to Iraq, who is a police officer in the town where we live. He decided to leave my daughter (after 14 years) who is a clean living person, and now he is on his third? girlfriend. My daughter lives with me. And I'm glad! He has been awarded shared custody. He takes their 5 year old daughter on camping trips with the girlfriend out of state, if my daughter disagrees, it's too bad. My daughter wants to call her baby to say goodnight when she is with the father and he doesn't answer the phone. A half a dozen times he would not disclose her whereabouts to my daughter for days, while my daughter frantically called and texted to try to find her! Then he says she's harassing him! To add insult to injury, he socially berates my daughter, thus forming a bandwagon of followers for his schemes. Why is he so hell bent to control the child; during his visits, so that there is little to no contact with her mother? Why is that such an issue for him? What is his explanation to his child for this? Why does he treat my daughter with contempt? After all, HE LEFT HER! He blocks all my daughter’s attempts to communicate with him with, “court orders” mumbo jumbo. He tries to set himself in front of others as “the victim” he creates tension between himself and my daughter, and cries that the tension is not good for the child. He created the situation that he is in, and blames my daughter for it. He speaks to her as though it’s not natural for a mother to be close to her child. As though the child is a “thing” and when it’s HIS turn with the “thing” my daughter should shut up and go away! So much for shared custody! My daughter spent two weeks accumulating and printing emails and texts to show his alienation of affection campaign, but it all fell on deaf ears. Next is pretrial for the divorce. God help her and her baby. Can you say, CORRUPTION?
written by Advice please, September 23, 2014
Please anyone w/ some advice. I have a ten year old that I've been raising pretty much on my own since the day she was born. Her " dad" has been in and out of her life since her birth up until maybe 4 or 5"yrs of her life. Now during these first FEW years he's only hung around for maybe a month every so often and disappear and then show up a year or two later.HHe's never spent one birthday w/ her. Only one Christmas and one thanksgiving. Hes never been there for not one school day, bedtime, earache, awards, homework. Not to mention shes ADD, hss a speech impairment and learning disability since she was three. Everytime he promised to stay in her life ( not mine and thats finevw/ me) he has always stood her up, made excuses as to why he couldn't see her, or called me to go pick her up. He has caused me soooo much stress because he never helped me support her in any way. He was an alcoholic and hit me once ( and thats all it took for me to leave) when she was three months. I can go on and on... About a year ago he started to pay child support even though he was court ordered years ago and a few months ago I ran into his mom and one thing lead to another and i let him start seeing her again. Well hes up to his old ways and has already stood her up and a few times, misses another birthday and started to threaten me that he wasgoing to have me arrarrested for not letting him see her. Im so sick of him coming in and out of her life she is not a baby anymore she knows and i have to keep lying for this jerk. He still has rights to see her since long ago we went to court. I had evidence in my phone that is broken now on ugly txt messages he had sent me in the past but nothing now. I feel he is going to try to take me to court for her. What do i do? Please and God bless.
written by No name, September 24, 2014
I have a question?? Ok my husband was names domicile parent in 2013 for his 9 year old daughter. Because the mother moved an hour away and seem to not have a stable living life. All last year the child is having a hard time adjusting to our home and school with having bad reports from school and failing. Again the same for this year. Already having detentions and it's only the 1st nine weeks of school! The mother is went to jail a few months ago for possission of marajuana and demotic violence charge. She is trying to get the child back because of the child's grades and behavior. Before when the child was living with her she wasn't having any problems. My husband works a lot and is away and I the step parent cares for the child while he is done . Do you think there is a chance that the judge will give the child back to her mother with all the problems the child is having since the change was made??
Why won't my daughters dad just leave us alone?
written by loving mother, September 24, 2014
Found this site as there are no useful Uk ones..My daughter is almost 9 months old, not that her 'dad' could care less however,all he seems to care about is giving grief and playing devious mind games with myself and my family. Twice he has had the opportunity to be involved, yet each time just gets too mentally abusive,forceful and demanding when he has an absolute cheek. There has been no reason for this, bar the fact that he is horrible and controlling. I have stacks of evidence of this, yet he seems to get away with it all with the authorities..soo frustrating. Makes up lies about me which are the absolute opposite of anything I would ever do. Both sides of the sexes have bad people. But howcome it always seems to be the ones that are in the right that have to deal with the endless hassle. My daughter and I would be so much better off if he would just leave us alone. Here's hoping a judge will agree!
Custody Battle with my fiance's ex girlfriend.
written by Anna, October 12, 2014
My Fiance has two kids with his ex girlfriend, in this last year there oldest child has been hospitalized for his asthma due to the mom not giving child his medication, well this last recent time the child was airlifted and put on life support.In mind she does not work, pawns kids off so she can go out and is just plain lazy.
We are fighting for full custody due to not taking proper care of both kids. can anyone tell me if it would look better to the courts being married and not being the fiance?? and if anyone would know how hard this is gonna be??
written by Scared, October 29, 2014
Hi what do you all think of a ex that has called DHS and reported abuse on one of the divorced parents children? Is this bad on their part or ours?
written by desiree, November 07, 2014
I live in a county where the judge just wants to give the custody to the fathers. My ex berates me in front of our children, doesn't allow them to call me when they are at his house, is having a sexual relationship with my oldest daughter whom he helped raise, has a criminal record and spent over five years in prison. I have no record, I work, our children told the judge that they don't want to be with him.
The "Law of Attraction'
written by Rhinoamo, November 09, 2014
This is something I learned in Psychology class over ten years ago and still have to remind myself to practice it. My interpretation of the "Law of Attraction" is simply stay positive and positive things will happen. Instead of wishing the worse for your ex-wife, ex-husband wish them the best and I was surprised how much it helped me to overcome the separation. Believe me it wasn't easy or did it happen in the time frame I would have preferred but it did work. I was reading SWAMPTHING910510 and a part of me wants to tell him to get his crap together and put the load on his shoulders, because whether you like it or not it is YOUR divorce. I don't have money bursting out of my pockets but money means absolutely nothing when it comes to being with my son. I know where he is coming from but just sitting back enjoying bankruptcy isn't the answer for me. I feel for you my man and pray that things turn out for the best for you and I.
written by Michelle, November 13, 2014
This article was a great reference to me understanding the dos and donts. Ive been a single mother for six years and my two girls are with me 24/7. Ive been really relaxed with my childrens fathers about support or just being therenwhen j really really need. When my youngest daughters father tried to sue me after i asked for years for help but never received it. I applied for child support. He lies abiut where he lives. Who she is with and he doesnt spend any time with her because he lives and works in Oklahoma. But in court stated he wanted what days to have visits and when and where he would like to have pick up and drop off locations. He has had his girlfriend take my child out of state for three months now. She hasnt seen him but ive dropped her off to her aunt like our order statdd, ive made sure all my ts are crossed and is are dotted......but he still lies. He wants more than anything for his girlfriend to be my daughters mother. ......but she never will. He was granted visited every weekend starting sept 23 2014......but he hasnt seen her. I drop her off to his sister and she lies about who my daughter is with as well as her dad and is live in girlfriend. Ive stopped visits and my attorney is working very hard to take awaynhis rights. He talks crap all the time and he lies all the time. He never follows the order but he calls his attorney to have her call me because i dont trust him or her. This article is the best thing ive read on this topic. Thank you DadDivo
The problem still exists, and the bias is against fathers
written by Gary Trieste, November 29, 2014
I recognize that the family courts can be as abusive to mothers as well as fathers, and the bias against a given litigant hurts just as much.
I still maintain this is more of a anti-father bias than anti-mother bias overall. Even the tone of this article recognizes this, and targets the father as having all obligations and responsibilities to act like a superhuman trained psychologist in dealing with both his child and his ex-spouse. You are not allowed to act like what a normal person would under the circumstances, but like a dispassionate professional handling clients, not close family members.
I too have piles of evidence, and self-admitted alienation by the mother of my child, but he court refuses to even issue a visitation order.
I share here both my story in an article I wrote, and an invitation to all to join the Family Court Dads group I created on yahoo, please visit both:

Family Court Abuse Support Group
daycare disclosure
written by Canadianeh, December 08, 2014
I am in a custody battle over my 2 year old daughter and I am pretty sure I'll lose..well she will lose also. Tried to advocate a shared situation but mother says no. Wonder if anyone wants to chime in on the latest thing that is happening...The ex is refusing to disclose my daughter's daycare schedule, even though I am paying half of it. Her lawyer said I was being 'controlling'...I thought I had an obligation as her father/parent to know when my daughter was in a third parties care..especially when I was paying for this care. Maybe I am wrong??
Las Vegas - Southern Nevada Family Court - Attorney Corruption
written by Grandpa, December 10, 2014
My Wife and I have been with our daughter through her three (3) year and counting custody battle with my first grandchild. My daughter was never married and was told she couldn't have kids and I had just come out of a major surgery that left me disabled. Our structure was my wife was a stay at home mother and I worked. The timing of my grandchild gave me hope. My grandchild's father was not to be found during my daughter's pregnancy or the birth. When my grandchild was 3 months old, the father filed a "motion to show cause", the nightmare started. We prepared our daughter with an attorney, etc. Built the case with facts with documented evidence and honesty. Wrong thing to do! The family court system we learned was built on lies and court wins were based on no documents to back up the lies. When my granddaughter was 1 year, old she witnessed her father beat the living crap out of my daughter, our PI had all this on video along with my daughter lying on the sidewalk while the father ripped his shirt and punched himself four times. Our PI called the police and stayed back. The father and his mother of course filed police statements. The fathers mother filed in her witness statement that she watched my daughter strike the first blow while sitting on the couch. During the "family Court" hearing all evidence was presented, even the mothers witness statement. While on the stand she said she was in her room talking with her sister when the fight started, "perjury" you would think, wrong? Come to find out the father has attorneys, police officers and a judge on his side. We all thought it was a slam dunk. It didn't work out that way, my daughter lost. Ever since each court appearance has been filled with lies, etc. The father quit his job so child support would not be awarded, my daughter is a full time medical student along with my wife. Yesterday support enforcement of Nevada forced my daughter to appear to force the father to pay support, it turned out to be a witch hunt on my daughter. This is a very sad thing! The worse part we found out, the attorneys fight in the court room like in the boxing ring. Afterward they go to lunch and calculate who will win the next round. The last four hearing have generated court orders that are the same, just a different date. I've read a lot of stories on this site about mothers getting screwed over and men getting screwed over, fact is either way the attorneys are the winners, no one else. Courts being Biased, you bet they are. Advice, sure get the "RUN" doesn't matter if your the mother or father you will lose all your assets. With tears in our eyes one day, the father approached us and said "by the time this is over you will be forced to take the law into your own hands" We have mounds of worthless evidence. Good luck to all of you!
written by adams helen , December 14, 2014
My name is Adams Helen from United States, I want to quickly tell the world that there is a real on line spell caster that is powerful and genuine, His name is DR TRUST, He helped me recently to reunite my relationship wih my husband who left me, When i contacted DR TRUST he cast a love spell for me and my husband who said he doesn't have anything to do with me again called me and started begging me. he is back now with so much love and careing. today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the powers to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. To anyone who is reading this article and needs any help, DR. TRUST can also offer any types of help like Reuniting of marriage and relationship, Curing of all types of Diseases, Court Cases, Pregnancy Spell, Spiritual protection and lot's more. You can contact him Via this email or call him +2348156885231.
how i get my husband back
written by lydiae mill, December 17, 2014
After being in relationship with him for 3 years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is DRAISEDIONSPELLCASTER@GMAIL.COM you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other problem.
my ex back
written by eva, December 17, 2014

After the fifth year relationship with my boyfriend, he changed suddenly and stopped contacting me regularly, to come up with excuses not to see me all the time. He stopped answering my calls and sms to me and stopped me regularly. Then I started to catch him with different girls several times, but each time he told me that I love and I needed some time to think about our relationship.But can not stop thinking about him, so I decided to go online and vi so many good talk about this caster and I communicate with him and explain my problems to him.He a love spell for me, which I use and after two days, my boyfriend turned to me and began to contact me regularly and we moved in together after a few months and he was more open to me than before and began to spend more time with me than his friends. Finally we got married and now we have been happily married for 3 years, with a son. From Dr.TRUSTde TRUELOVESPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COMme helped my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before.You can also contact the caster and get your fix relation Email: TRUELOVESPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM
how i get my husband back
written by lydiae mill, December 17, 2014
After being in relationship with him for 3 years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is DRAISEDIONSPELLCASTER@GMAIL.COM you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other problem.
how i get my husband back
written by lydiae mill, December 18, 2014
After being in relationship with him for 3 years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is DRAISEDIONSPELLCASTER@GMAIL.COM you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other problem.

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