Become a Better Parent and Prove It 
by Dorthy Walsh Ripka, Esq. Cordell & Cordell, PC

If you are currently involved in a contested child custody case or soon will be, there are so key items that you must be prepared for in order to achieve the best possible result.  If you want the Court to award you custody, then you will need to make the Court believe it is in the best interest of your child to be with you primarily.  This is a very subjective standard, and the court is vested with great discretion in making this decision.  You need to convince the judge that you are the best decision for the children’s home base.  You will want the judge to believe in you and your ability to parent.  It is not only important to show the flaws of the other parent, but even more important for you to show your strengths.  The facts of your case are what will make the difference.  This is not about the law or how your lawyer presents your case, but the facts, and the best way to present the facts.

Key Concern Number 1:

1.    Parenting of your children.  

a.    Focus on your parenting skills.  What are your strengths and weaknesses as a parent?  
i.  What can you do to improve your skills?  Are there programs you can use to improve your skills?
ii.  Do you have personal flaws that impact your ability to parent?  Do you have issues with drugs, alcohol, anger, depression, etc.?  Now is the time assistance.  Get access to the help that is out there.  

b.    Focus on your children.  Participate in their lives.  Talk to them about their lives, their concerns, etc.

c.    Participate in their educations.  Do homework, read to them, talk to their teachers, help with any problems at school (academic or otherwise); take them to educational venues like the library, parks, etc.  

d.    Be active with your children.  Play games, go for walks; enroll them in physical activities/sports or lessons for music.

e.    Participate in their Health.  Know the Doctors by name and in person.  Go to appointments.  Be sure you are an emergency contact in their file.  Follow up when your children are sick.  Know the details of all health conditions, the medicine schedule, etc.

f.    Communicate with the other parent.  Request information regarding the children when with the other parent.  Keep the other parent informed of activities, injuries, etc. when the child is with you.  
g.    Attend all activities for the children whether on your scheduled time or not.  It is important to show that the child is your top priority.  

h.    Care for the Children even when you are not present.  Have a back up plan for help when the children are with you.  Have a trusted friend or relative who can assist with the children if you need them to for a work related event or emergency.  Make sure to have all important and relevant information regarding this person.  Try to keep it stable so that you are not constantly switching sitters.  

i.    Discipline the children appropriately.  Do not use physical discipline if you can help it.  You should be the one to discipline.  Do not have someone else do it.  


    Key Concern Number 2:  .  

    2.    Keep Records.  

a.    Keep a Written Journal and/or Calendar.
i.    Track all important issues with the children.
      a.    When you have the children.
      b.    When are denied the children.
      c.    Any concerns you have with the children’s behavior when with you or about the other parent.
      d.    All of the activities you attend with the children.
      e.    Any use of a babysitter.

b.    Do not rely on your memory only.  You can not rely on it for dates and events.  It is not reliable and will not have the same impact as the written journal.    

Dorothy Walsh Ripka is the Team Leader of the Cordell & Cordell, P.C. offices in Dallas, Fort Worth and Memphis. Ms. Ripka is a seasoned attorney who has devoted her practice exclusively to domestic relations. She is licensed to practice law in Texas, Missouri and Illinois.

Read more about Dorothy Ripka.