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Question:  How can I prove that what is going on is really Parental Alienation Syndrome?  When I was in the house I bore the role of disciplinarian. I was the one who had to say no or who had to back up the rules. Now she and my daughter (7) are living together and saying that I was in her words "abusive" in my daughter's words "mean."  Is it possible that I was those things?
Michael, San Francisco


Lots of people ask the same question, " How can I prove that what is going on is really PAS ? "  If you look at the symptoms of PAS and match them to the behavior of the child you can pretty much know if your child is suffering from the problem,  but the question that should be asked is this, " Will proving PAS get me back my child ? "  My advise is to avoid any court room strategy to try and prove PAS. It is, however, important to get the help of mental health professionals to testify in court that it's in the child's best interest to be removed from the custody of an alienating parent.

I have been to court twice and on both occasions the judge has made reference to my wife's warlike attitude about the proceedings and yet she is given primary physical custody. If the court can see that she is coming at me with guns blazing, how can they not see that it is bad for her to have control of raising my daughter. I suppose I am asking for help in formulating my courtroom strategy.
Tony, Dallas
I don't know much about your case, but Judge's see this kind of behavior all day long, and they can separate what the parents say to each other from what they say to the child.
The best thing you can do is get a PAS expert to coach you along each step of the way. However, let's shift the focus back to you. I don't think you will help your case by pointing out the mother's faults, you need to highlight your own parenting skills and the court needs to see your strengths. The parent that can foster an effort to allow the child to have a relationship with both parents is the parent that gains the court's favor.
Joseph Goldberg is the Founder and Principal of Goldberg & Associates.

Mr Goldberg is a Medical-Legal Consultant for Family Law Attorney's and Targeted Parents only. His consulting work is specific to cases that involve Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome. He is a guest speaker talking about parental alienation on Radio Shows in the U. S. and Canada. During the first 6 months of 2007, he had consulted in more than 25 cases.

Mr. Goldberg is the organizer of The Canadian Symposium for Parental Alienation Syndrome.
March 27th - 29th at the Metro Toronto Convention Center.
More information at

Comments (1)Add Comment
When a pregnant women claims your the father and ask you for financial help. But has and lives with another man
written by Sbs, July 16, 2012
I had cheatrd
with a lady. After having this relationship with her for a month or two. She told me that the ex-boyfriend actually lives with her. We continued having this relationship and she is now pregnant. Our relationship has ended and they are still together.Now due to her having a high risk pregnancy, she has to take less hours at work. And know she is asking me for financial help. But when I ask that we all sit down to discuss what should happen she refused. What should I do, I do have questions of me being the father.

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