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Divorce Advice for Men | Fathers Rights Divorce | Child Custody

Providing men with essential divorce advice, fathers rights divorce information and child custody articles. Dads Divorce is a community for men facing divorce or fathers rights issues and run by Cordell and Cordell. Cordell & Cordell is a family law firm with a focus on men's divorce, child custody and fathers rights divorce.
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what not to say divorceBy Cordell & Cordell Divorce Lawyers for Men

Divorce for men is hard, and you may be tempted to lash out at your soon-to-be ex.

But it’s important to keep your cool and hold your tongue. One unfortunate slip could hurt your case and your finances--not to mention your karma.

In that light, we’ve gone through our Cordell & Cordell reviews and found six things that our divorce attorneys recommend you should absolutely never say to your spouse while going through a divorce.

1. I’m Going To (Insert Threat Here) You!

No matter how angry you are, violence is never the answer. And threatening violence is no joke either. It could hurt your case, and you could end up in other legal trouble as well.

2. I’ve Got A New Girlfriend, And She’s Better Than You.

When your ex is listing all of things you did wrong during your marriage, you may want to bite back and tell her about your new romantic interest. But while it might make you feel smug (and her jealous), it’s a mistake in the long run. Why add more fuel to her fire? Telling her about your new girlfriend will just make her more combative.

3. I’m Moving Out

You may want to start your new life immediately by moving as far away from your spouse as you can, but doing so can give her an advantage during property division. Instead, grit your teeth and stay put until your property is divided. We see this mistake a lot during divorce for men, so don’t fall for it.

4. Take It All. I Give Up.

Divorce is a long, hard process, and you may be tempted to surrender to get it all behind you. But remember: giving in may spare you some pain now, but it will hurt later. Dig in and don’t settle for less than your fair share.

5. The Kids Hate You

During a divorce, the most important thing is the welfare of you kids. And even if you don’t like your spouse, it’s important to realize that your kids still need a mom.

So dragging your kids into the fray, especially to hurt your spouse, is a definite no-no.

6. I Was Cheating On You The Whole Time

First of all, hopefully you weren’t cheating on her. But either way, saying this to your spouse can destroy your case, because the courts in some states take infidelity into account when deciding property division and custody.

Have you been tempted to say these things during your divorce? Leave us a comment, and browse our Cordell and Cordell reviews to find out how a Cordell lawyer can help with your case.  

Cordell and Cordell has over 20 years of experience in divorce for men, and the thorough Cordell and Cordell review process ensures that you’ll get the highest level of performance on your case.


Comments (9)Add Comment
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Angry Ex-wife
written by Adam Campbell , May 22, 2013
My wife was served with a No Contact order. Which states she, my new wife, has threatened my ex with bodily harm. not only is this ridiculous, but my wife can not pick up or drop off my child or have any contact, such as school functions and country fair, that our children are involved in as members of 4-H. We are frustrated and confused as to how someone can just file this with no proof!? also we are now in a bind as she was our main transportation for my daughter because of my work sched. it makes at least one pick up a week impossible for me to do on my own!? My daughter has expressed her desire to live with me because of a hostile environment with her mother and we feel it is her way to retaliate and keep my Child from us! This has upset my wife and made her fearful to even answer my daughters phone calls!
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written by Curious, May 28, 2013
No proof was provided against your current wife? Is it a court order? Did a court official sign the order? If so, what title of authority does the court official hold?
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stay at home dad
written by confused, May 30, 2013
I was a stay at home dad and married for 6 years at which I raised the children. I filed for divorce because My wife decided one day to just move out and left me and the three children. Our divorce hearing is next month and I need to know if she could take everything and full custody of the children? I know everything about our kids and all she ever did was go party after work while i stayed at home for six years raising kids! what could happen to me in the divorce? It is non contested.
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written by Curious, June 02, 2013
Very good question from Confused. Is there an answer?
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Stay at home dads: What are my rights?
written by DadsDivorce.com admin, June 03, 2013

Stay At Home Dad: What Are My Rights?

http://www.dadsdivorce.com/articles/stay-at-home-dad-what-are-my-rights.html
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written by Frustrated father, July 24, 2013
I was given such a hard time by the mediator for saying i wanted to be with our children 50% of the time - the mediator immediately told me that i only cared about money and from that point on, the meeting did not go so well. I was trying to be fair, but i was labeled for saying 50% - so i would suggest others not say 50%
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re: written by Frustrated father, July 24, 2013
written by Rock Gaines, January 08, 2014

I was given such a hard time by the mediator for saying i wanted to be with our children 50% of the time - the mediator immediately told me that i only cared about money and from that point on, the meeting did not go so well. I was trying to be fair, but i was labeled for saying 50% - so i would suggest others not say 50%

First of all, never allow your opposition to intimidate you. During one of my mediation sessions with my ex-wife and her lawyer, the lawyer tried to label me as a deadbeat dad and that I was not a good father. I immediately became angry. I excused myself from the proceedings for maybe 30 seconds to gather myself, then went back in and told the lawyer that she knew nothing about me, or my relationship with our kids, and that I resented her attacks. Then I proceeded to tell her what I can do in order to resolve the dispute. She became quiet, then we all got down to business. We came out of there with a good agreement. You must show your opposition that you will not tolerate attacks, and that you're willing to negotiate.

I went back to mediation in 2011 because I wanted custody of my daughter. Her mom was about to lose her apartment, and I have a 3 bedroom home. I requested from my wife that she allow my daughter to live with me. She refused, so back to court we went. This time, I hired an attorney from Cordell & Cordell. I could have won custody, but my daughter was close to the age where a child can choose where she will live, so my attorney suggested Joint Physical Custody. I agreed, and my daughter stays with me on Wednesday, Thursday nights, and with her mom on Monday and Tuesday nights. We alternate weekends.

If it's not too late, and if feasible, maybe you should suggest this type of arrangement. It works well because as parents, we both get to spend equal time with our daughter. You also may get child support lowered too if you're paying it.
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re: written by Frustrated father, July 24, 2013
written by Rock Gaines, January 08, 2014
Should read:
I requested from my ex wife that she allow my daughter to live with me. She refused, so back to court we went.
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cleaner
written by Paul Parker, June 23, 2014
Is it alright to hire a new attorney when your going into settlement at court? Present attorney doesn't seem too put my best interests in front of judge.

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