A Mans Mind: Divorce And Depression In Men

Are You Sure You’re Not Depressed?

Most men will experience temporary periods of downheartedness or imbalance in their lives during the divorce process and for a period of time once the divorce is final.  Experiencing long periods of downheartedness or imbalance can be dangerous to their health, be destructive to their relationships and can negatively affect their job performance

How do you know when you've crossed from bouts with downheartedness to depression?

Depression does not happen overnight it slowly creeps up on an individual. That is why it is difficult to personally recognize when you are in the process of becoming depressed. If you're not sure whether you're just having a bad day, downhearted or you are really depressed, here are some signs that you're depressed:

• Your personal relationships and social life don't matter anymore. You avoid social activities with family and friends.  You stop attending club or organization meetings. Your sleep often and find it difficult to get motivated to get out of bed in the morning. When you have your children you spend all visitation time together at home.

• Your job performance isn't what it used to be and you lack motivation. When you're depressed you're not going to perform to your best abilities and my dread going to work. You may not notice the change in your attitude or performance or you do and simply don't care.

Recognizing that you're depressed is the first step, but it won't mean much unless you identify the roots cause(s) and take action to change the situation. Don’t try to do this alone, reach out to support system consisting of family and friends.  Talk about it, with family and friends but avoid involving your children. When you share your struggles with the key people in your life, you are more likely to make a strong mental and emotional commitment to reclaim your life and doing something about it.

Here are a few tips to “Reignite Your Joy in Life”

• Rediscover your motivation and commitment to Actively Live Life.

• Be Realistic – depression didn’t happen over night so it isn’t resolved over night.

• Ask for what you need from others. 

• Goals work. Be specific and set deadlines.

• Practice positive self talk

• Add aerobic exercise to your daily living, such as running, walking, swimming

• Implement a healthy diet and minimize use of alcohol

• Explore – expand your social interest with every new experience there is an opportunity to meet new people.

• Consult with your family physician if medication or professional counseling services are necessary.

© Richard J. Avdoian, MS, MSW, CSP (2009)

Be one of the first 10 to email Richard for a free no obligation 15 minute phone coaching session. Be one of the first 20 to email Richard for a free article Recommendation for Reducing Tension and Stress.

Richard Avdoian , MS, MSW, CSP Dads Divorce Coach

Located in Metro St. Louis, Richard works men who are in the divorce process and with men who are committed to living healthy lives, enhancing their personal relationships and achieve their goals.  Richard can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

 © Richard J. Avdoian, MS, MSW, CSP (2009)

Comments (0)